They were going to be on time today. Fleck just knew it. She finally had a system. Sam’s school uniform and Norah’s kinder clothes had been laid out the night before. They were both awake and eating breakfast. Sam’s hair was brushed. Alice was also awake and painting herself with toast fingers in her highchair. Library bags were packed and she had even remembered to clean both the lunch boxes.

It was when she was tying Norah’s hair into two neat plaits that things started to go wrong.

‘I can’t find my other shoe,’ said Sam.

‘I’m sure it’s there. We laid it out, remember?’

‘It’s not here.’

‘It’s not a shoe.’ This was Norah chiming in.

‘Check under the couch.’

‘Nope.’

‘Are you sure it’s not there? Did you check all around?’

‘Yep.’

‘It’s not a shoe.’ Norah again.

‘Well, did you move it?’

‘Nope.’

‘Well, where can it be?’

‘Are you cross, Mummy?’

‘No. No, I’m not cross. I’m just confused. Why did the shoe decide to go off on a holiday by itself?’

‘You’re funny, Mummy.’

‘Okay, Norah, that’s your hair done. I’m going to put the lunches together. Sam, you keep looking for your shoe.’

‘It’s not a shoe! ’

Fleck began loading the two lunch boxes with sandwiches and snacks. The fruit bowl was bare, despite having been full yesterday, but Fleck had a backup plan: she reached into the pantry, took out a Vita-Weat box and shook out two mandarins.

Norah’s eyes lit up at the sight of the two pieces of fruit. ‘I want a mandy!’

‘No, Norah. We need these for kinder and school. You can have one for your fruit break.’

‘I want a mandy NOW!’

‘These are the only ones left. They need to go in the lunch boxes.’

‘You go to the fruit shop.’

‘There’s no time. I’ll get some more later, but we have to go to school soon.’ Why was she having this conversation? Why was she negotiating fruit shortages with a three-year-old?

Alice, sitting happily in the highchair, made a noise that could only mean one thing.

‘Sounds like it’s nappy-change time for you, young lady!’

Fleck had just finished applying the nappy cream when she heard a colossal crash from the family room. She quickly placed Alice in the cot for safekeeping and rushed to the scene of the crime. It wasn’t as bad as it had sounded. Sam, while vigorously searching for his lost shoe, had toppled a basket of clean washing over the floor. Matthew’s business shirts and Alice’s bunny-rugs lay unfurled across the floorboards. It was a mess, but that wasn’t the main problem.

‘Norah! ’

A picture of innocence, the small child sat primly at the table in her favourite Batman t-shirt. She gazed back at her mother with her enormous brown eyes, blinked her impossibly long lashes and continued to clumsily peel one of the mandarins. ‘I’m hungry,’ she said, stone-faced.

‘No.’ Fleck lifted Norah out of her chair and placed her at her original place at the table in front of her half-finished breakfast. ‘If you’re hungry, you can finish your toast.’

‘NOOOOOOO!’ Norah stormed out of the room.

Fleck gazed forlornly at the half-peeled mandarin. There was already a small bite mark in one of the segments. Now what was she going to pack for fruit break? Did she have time to cut carrot sticks? Norah wouldn’t eat them, but at least Fleck would look like she’d made an effort.

‘Mummy!’ Sam said. ‘I still can’t find my shoe! It isn’t anywhere!’

Fleck opened the fridge and peered into the veggie drawer. ‘Just keep looking.’

The carrots in the fridge were pretty sad. But what if she finished peeling the mandarin and broke it up? She could put the unbitten segments in one of those little containers from the plastics cupboard.

Done!

She was on her hands and knees digging into the back of the cupboard when it struck her: things were a little too quiet. All she could hear was Alice babbling and giggling in the next room. Where was Norah?

‘I can’t go to school with no shoes on!’ Sam stood in her path, bouncing from foot to foot.

Fleck stepped quickly around him. ‘Hold on a minute.’

Norah and Alice were sitting side by side in Alice’s cot. Alice’s skin was white as snow. She gazed haughtily up at her mother like some tiny French aristocrat while Norah continued to apply zinc cream to her chubby arms and legs. Norah, meanwhile, had at some point liberated her plaits from their restraints. She doggedly persisted in her costume design pursuits beneath a frenzied halo of red hair.

‘Norah! ’

Norah shot her a defiant glare. ‘Alice is Mr Freeze.’

Fleck cocked an eyebrow. ‘Naughty step.’

They were already running behind. Three minutes on the naughty step for Norah would throw them out even more, but it had to be done.

Alice, who had been enjoying her stint as the Crown Prince of Chilblains, did not take kindly to the warm face washer. Fleck soon
discovered that lotions designed to repel moisture were near impossible to wash off. It was 8.49am. Fleck hunted for a long-sleeved onesie in the laundry, the nappy bag and the upstairs chest of drawers, then zipped Alice’s still mostly white limbs into it. Nobody needed to know.

Sam stood at the door, looking to be near tears. ‘I don’t have any more places to look. I can’t find my shoe!’

Fleck looked at her son. Something clicked into place. ‘It’s not a shoe,’ she murmured under her breath.

‘What?’

‘Hang on a minute, Sam.’ With Alice on her hip, Fleck strode across to the step where Norah was perched. She crouched down to look her in the eye, ignoring the loud popping sound her left knee made.

‘Norah, where is Sam’s shoe?’

‘You can’t talk to me. I’m on the naughty step.’

‘Is it not a shoe?’

‘Not. A. Shoe,’ Norah repeated emphatically.

‘Then what is it?’

‘Batmobile.’

‘Batmobile?’

Norah gave a firm nod. Fleck stood up and walked to the toy box. Inside it was Sam’s shoe. Inside Sam’s shoe was Batman, looking coolly impressed with himself in his new black leather vehicle.

It was 8.58am – well past time to go…