What if the greatest writer of all time isn’t who we think he is?
Zeke and Daniel have just been made hall monitors by Principal Wombat. This has nothing to do with the fact that they are monitor lizards. And never mind the fact Alicia, the only other monitor lizard in the school, is also a hall monitor.
Somehow, the three hall monitors must impose order on arrogant lions, excitable seals and super-relaxed pandas. And worst of all, there is Pelicarnassus! A pompous giant pelican and the son of a major supervillain, who inexplicably has it out for the lizards. Can the hall monitor lizards and their new friend, a blind, fearsome red-tailed hawk, protect their school from all manner of outlandish threats?
Zeke and Daniel have just been made hall monitors by Principal Wombat. This has nothing to do with the fact that they are monitor lizards. And never mind the fact Alicia, the only other monitor lizard in the school, is also a hall monitor.
Somehow, the three hall monitors must impose order on arrogant lions, excitable seals and super-relaxed pandas. And worst of all, there is Pelicarnassus! A pompous giant pelican and the son of a major supervillain, who inexplicably has it out for the lizards. Can the hall monitor lizards and their new friend, a blind, fearsome red-tailed hawk, protect their school from all manner of outlandish threats?
Buy a copy of Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody here.
Read some great reviews from our Preview readers here:
“If you are sick and tired of stories about monitor lizards who get named hall monitors by their wombat principal and ultimately have to save their school from an attacking giant robot pelican, then Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody – the latest children’s fiction release from the incomparable Patrick Ness – probably isn’t for you. Furthermore, if your steadfastly held position is that fantastical adventures that manage to mix: the madcap and the mundane, the ridiculous and the realistic, humour and heart, and the super-silly and the significant, are nothing short of hackneyed cliches that have well-and-truly worn out their welcome, then this is not the book for you. Finally, if you hear the sentence, “He shouldn’t have had to have France on his knee at his age.” and feel absolutely zero curiosity about what on earth that could mean, then, maybe you don’t even deserve to read Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody! Patrick Ness typically writes for an older audience but, having said that, ‘typical’ is a word that is difficult to associate with the works of Ness. Each time he puts pen to paper to start a new book, he seems determined to try not just something new, but something boldly different. He is the enemy of pedestrian. NESSessity is the mother of invention. I would recommend this original, quirky and wholly enjoyable book to readers in Grades 4 – 7, as well as all of Patrick Ness fans (‘Nessies’?) out there – whatever their age!” Daniel, TAS, 5 stars
This book was very funny in a lot of different ways. It had great ideas and was amazing at explaining things, like the black dog and bullying. It has interesting stories (such as France) and is very detailed. I love the characters and think everyone should read this book. 1,000 out of 10!!! Leo, VIC, 5 stars
Patrick Ness’ foray into middle grade fiction, Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody, has produced this fabulous, hilarious read with a fun, quirky cast of animal characters. My daughter loved it and can’t wait to read more in the series! Imogen, VIC, 5 stars
I gave this book to Miss 8 to read and to Miss 5 to colour. They both loved how the main characters are monitor lizards. Miss 8 thought the book was very funny. I noticed that some of the words were quite long and it was great when she tried her hardest to pronounce them. A good kids book will keep them entertained but also help to expand their vocabulary – this book delivered on both. Miss 8 said the book was about monitor lizards patrolling school hallways and interacting with various other animal characters. It took her about a week to read. She said the book was “funny” and she “liked it”. The copy that we had was entirely in black and white – including the cover. So this is where Miss 5 took over and coloured the pictures. She was pleased that I let her use the markers for the front cover and for the other pages she used pastel coloured pencils. We will keep the book so Miss 5 can read once she gets older. Overall I would recommend this kids book – I might even give it a read myself! Leanne, SA, 5 stars
Patrick Ness has written another winner in “Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody”. This new book will be adored by tween readers who will find themselves cheering for the reluctant heroes as they battle typical middle school dramas: bullying classmates, self-esteem wobbles, and family emergencies. What sets Ness’s work apart though is the quirky and maniacal humour, and the creation of richly detailed worlds of fantasy. By anthropomorphising the cast of this story, Ness offers a less confrontational backdrop through which to explore a number of significant issues, including explorations of mental health, body image and social inclusion. This is done with such sensitivity and nuance that young readers will feel that they can identify with this crew of misfits, and see how they work their way through challenges. Every chapter is sprinkled with laugh-out-loud moments and surprising details, and readers can expect Ness’s usual signature blend of literary cleverness and extreme readability. Filled with brilliantly bonkers illustrations by Tim Walker, each page of “Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody” is a treat for readers of all ages, and is sure to become an instant hit with readers aged 9-12. Claire, TAS, 5 stars
Patrick Ness’s new book is a hilarious and heartwarming read that my stepkids and I loved! Zeke, Daniel, and Alicia, all monitor lizards, become hall monitors and have to manage a wild mix of schoolmates—arrogant lions, excitable seals, and laid-back pandas. The story is packed with laughs and unexpected twists, especially with Pelicarnassus, a pompous pelican villain. The book’s funny illustrations and clever writing kept us hooked from start to finish. It’s a perfect mix of adventure and humor, making it a fantastic read for kids and adults alike. If you’re looking for a fun, engaging story to share with your family, this one is a must-read! Tess, QLD, 5 stars
I’m a grandmother who read this book before I gave it to my almost 11 year old granddaughter to read. It was very interesting discussing talking the book with her. The story is great for ones imagination. It begins with Principle Wombat a school principal, making monitor lizards hall monitors. The cast of characters include a wildebeest teacher, a pony, some egrets, a hawk in sunglasses, and a nasty pelican with supervillain ambitions. The story delves into bullying, grief, and negotiating that which makes us different and coming to an understanding in a manner and with language young children understand. The cartoons and the ability to colour them in kept my granddaughter interested until the end. Here favourite character was Zeke a very loveable Monitor Lizard.The ending was perfect and reminded me of coming home after school. This was an easy read book but perfectly suited to children in years 4-5. Kay, QLD, 5 stars
The book was great. Each chapter made me want to keep reading. I loved the characters in this book. They were very funny. Zeke and his lizard friends are true heroes. Annie, 10, NSW, 5 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody, was a delightfully original book, something for adults as well as children, very funny a little sad but uplifting and I really enjoyed reading it. Martina, SA, 5 stars
An interesting novel that started slowly but quickly grew into an engaging story that kept the reader guessing till the end. The use of animals for characters to communicate strong messages was positive, although at times it was a little farfetched. Such as the shooting of lasers from hands. The plot was well developed with the right complexity level for the target audience of 9 plus. The title did not do justice to the good story that the novel contained. Overall, a good fun read that dealt effectively with sensitive topics, as evidenced by it being completed within 3 hours of receiving!!! Geoff, WA, 5 stars
Patrick Ness has written another brilliant book, aimed at readers aged 9 to 12 years old – but everyone should read this book! Zeke is a monitor lizard, and is large for his age. Life is tough at home and punching the school bully, a belligerent pelican with a supervillain for a mother, has just made his life all kinds of worse. His faithful monitor lizard friends, Daniel and Alicia stick by him during the tough times, but can they be the heroes their school needs? Dive into this book and have these questions answered: Does Principal Wombat really have an armoured butt? What is the nastiest animal in the school and why is she in charge of supplies? And why is the nation of France located on Zeke’s knee? This book, with its madcap tone and hilarious illustrations, sensitively deals with bullying, depression, not fitting in and how to be a great friend. I highly recommend this – everyone needs to read this! Lisa, NSW, 5 stars
From award-winning novelist Patrick Ness, a school story aimed at nine-year-olds that will just as easily appeal to sixty-nine-year-olds, enhanced by illustrations in Tim Miller’s individual style. Anyone who isn’t laughing out loud on the first page has no fun in them. But anyone with a heart will also be choking up during certain bits of Zeke’s story. And Ness gives us all important things to consider, stuff that many school kids have to face daily: bullying, violence and intimidation, fat-shaming, insensitivity to disabilities, mental health issues, and being type-cast. But he does it with humour: there are laughs on nearly every page. There’s a quirky cast that includes monitor lizards, one of whom has France on his knee, a wombat school principal, a wildebeest teacher, a pony, some egrets, a hawk in sunglasses, and a nasty pelican with supervillain ambitions. Ness gives his protagonist some loyal and brave friends, who spout wise words and offer sound advice, which is needed, because there’s a battle to win if the school is to be saved from destruction. The start of a series? Yes, please! Hugely imaginative and very funny. Marianne, NSW, 5 stars
Lizard Nobody is a funny book. I even shared it with my big brother who’s 12. He is reading it now and says it’s hilarious. Other kids our age would like it too. Hunter, NSW, 5 stars
What a cute little story from the wonderful Patrick Ness! Ness has a unique talent in exploring tough issues but in a way that young people can understand. And he really comes through again with this one. Young readers will fall in love with Zeke, Daniel, Alicia and Miel, and will be outraged by the antics of Pelicanarssus! They might even learn a little French Angela, VIC, 5 stars
I love the story and illustration, it’s hilarious. Three lizards – Zeke, Daniel, and Alicia – have been appointed hall monitors in their school. This is a good story where bullying is unacceptable, and friendship is a treasure. Power is nothing except what you do with it. Margaret, NSW, 5 stars
This was such a cool story, we really enjoyed it! The black dog was a little scary but we really loved seeing the friends look after each other! My favorite character was Miel (it means Honey!!!) Vaughan (and Aubree), WA, 5 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody will take readers on a rollercoaster ride. A fantastic story exploring friendship, family and how we can grow into potential and possibility! Amazing and relatable characters you look forward to riding the story with! Recommend it to anyone who loves a story with heart and humour! Andrew, QLD, 5 stars
“Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody” by Patrick Ness is a creative and sincere fantasy story that delves into the concepts of identity, belonging, and survival. The narrative chronicles the journey of a reptile named Nobody as he embarks on a mission to ascertain his authentic identity and raison d’être in a realm teeming with otherworldly beings and captivating terrains. Ness’s language exhibits both poetic and evocative qualities, effectively constructing a vibrant and immersive universe that immediately engrosses readers. The main character, Nobody, is a sympathetic and likeable individual whose process of self-exploration is marked by deep self-reflection and external obstacles. The work explores the intricacies of acceptance, exclusion, and the universal challenge of discovering one’s identity and purpose in the world through the protagonist’s journeys.The supporting characters are intricately crafted, contributing intricacy and variety to the storyline, and everyone plays a key part in molding Nobody’s expedition. The text skillfully depicts the concepts of persistence and progress, serving as a source of inspiration for readers to persist in the face of obstacles and difficulties.On the whole, “Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody” is a captivating book that merges thrilling escapades with profound emotional intensity. The novel’s capacity to address significant subjects inside a fantasy structure renders it intellectually stimulating and enjoyable, appealing to both young adults and adults alike. Ariba, NSW, 5 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody is a hilarious book about friendship and staying true to yourself. This book felt totally relatable and made me smile constantly. I recommend reading this if you are a kid who is having trouble at school or home or if you just want a good laugh-out-loud read. Definitely something you could read again and again and again. Shar, NSW, 5 stars
My kids loved this book and I loved reading it to them. We finished it in one weekend and my daughter thought it was so special to be able to colour it in. A fabulous story about 2 lizards saving a school and the world. Must read for every child. Karen, QLD, 5 stars
“The Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody” by Patrick Ness is a well-written book for children of probably 9–12 years of age. As a retired teacher, I know it is the sort of book that would be good to use as a read aloud serial to upper Primary classes, as it would appeal to both boys and girls. It has an interesting, and at times, exciting plot, but also deals with such topics as friendship, bullying, family issues surrounding adult depression, loyalty, fairness, self- belief, heroes, tyrants and villains, etc. The main character, Zeke, along with his monitor lizard friends, Alicia and Daniel, and an unlikely alliance with a blind hawk, take on the school bully, an aggressive and vengeful pelican, who is set on destruction and mayhem. The chapters are short and break at interesting places which makes the reader look forward to the next one. The book has quite a lot of humour thrown in; some basic, some more subtle. Another interesting aspect are the simple black and white illustrations by Tim Miller which are designed to be coloured by the reader, which would also appeal to the age group. Definitely a book to be enjoyed by kids. Lynne, WA, 4 stars
The Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody was a really good book! The characters were very brave and funny. It was really easy and enjoyable to read. Emily, NSW, 4 stars
A quirky fun book celebrating friendship and loyalty, Patrick Ness has created wonderful characters full of warmth. Deanne, VIC, 4 stars
Patrick Ness is a talented author known for his unique storytelling style and compelling narratives. This new book is a captivating read for those who enjoy imaginative storytelling. My 9 year old son loved the humour and retold the jokes for days. The writing itself is a little wordy at times. Some readers will find it difficult to follow the lengthy sentences. Nicole, VIC, 4 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody is a heartwarming and funny story about one young lizard’s personal journey through a tough time in his life. Written by Patrick Ness it tells the story of Zeke, a young monitor lizard who has just been given the important job of hall monitor by his school principal, along with his two friends, Daniel and Alicia, also monitor lizards. It follows Zeke’s journey as he navigates his new school position, confronting bullies and making new friends and allies. Ness has a lovely way of showing the concern and caring nature between the friends and how they rally to support each other. He also delicately introduces us to depression by talking about the black dog that often accompanies Zeke’s mother as she tries to cope with the death of Zeke’s father. Although a humorous and fanciful story, in Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody, Ness covers the real-life issues of bullying, depression and grief in a respectful and easy to understand way to connect to children and adults alike. I really enjoyed this amusing yet moving illustrated novel and as a primary school teacher and parent would recommend it to children aged 9-12 years. Mary-Jo, VIC, 4 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody is a fun read for primary age kids. I loved the humor and I enjoyed how Patrick Ness wrote a school story and added his own ideas to make it crazy. My favourite character was Daniel because he was always there for his friends and cheered everyone up, but I still enjoyed all of the other characters. I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a good laugh, I giggled all the way through! Alyssa, VIC, 4 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody was the most intriguing and hilarious book I have ever read. How do the characters go from hall monitors to superheroes, and how can the entire country of France fit on one lizard knee? Honestly to me the storyline of this book could not get better. My only suggestion is that you make the first two chapters more interesting because I found them a bit boring. Adriana, age 9, NSW, 4 stars
I haven’t read a book for this age range for quite a while but I enjoyed reading this along with my 9 year old grandson. At first I wasn’t sure but it absolutely grew on me. With undertones focusing on bullying, depression and racism it has a story to tell. The main characters are good friends and I like how they care for each other. Alicia’s mother keeps an eye on Zeke and brings a bit of community spirit to the story. A few butt mentions in there brought out a few giggles from my grandson and won him over straight away. Lots of imagination needed taking in the geography of France lol. Thoroughly enjoyable. Passing it down to the next grandchild now who I am sure will love it as much. Tracey, NSW, 4 stars
When Zeke and Daniel, (monitor lizards), are made Hall Monitors by Principal Wombat they are assured it is just a coincidence! As if! Especially when Alicia, the only other monitor lizard in the school is also a Hall Monitor! Keeping order in the corridors with all those different animals will be a challenge. It’s not long before Zeke is at loggerheads with the school bully, Pelicarnassus, son of an international super villain, after he provokes Zeke into punching him. Revenge is on the agenda for Pelicarnassus! It is up to Zeke and his friends, including blind hawk, Miel, to defend the school. There are lots of issues raised in this story, including grief, social inequity, school violence, bullying and the value of negotiation, all brought to light and dealt with in uniquely different ways. My nine year old granddaughter thought there was not really any action until the end. The best part of the story was the giant robot pelican suit and the laser monitor sashes. It was interesting quizzing her on some of the social issues to see if she picked up on them and to draw out her thoughts. She enjoyed the book but it was not one she would normally read. Janice, NSW, 4 stars
Grace, eleven years, enjoyed this, although felt it was really better suited to somewhat younger kids. Her verdict: “it’s well written and funny, and I enjoyed that. The characters were really strong too, and that kept me reading. I did think that the Pelican sometimes acted inconsistently, and changed too quickly from acting one way to another. The only other thing that I didn’t like was that some scenes were a bit hard to picture. But it was fun and I found it easy to read.” Mum (much older) says: the deliberate stupidity of some parts of the plot will very much appeal to younger readers, who often like a touch of crazy in their stories. The language and concepts seem aimed at kids in the early years of primary school. There are some important messages here. Adult readers will certainly recognise that Zeke’s mum is suffering from debilitating depression. However, it’s never identified specifically, and is framed in terms of the way a young child would see and experience it. Most younger kids will enjoy this very much – it’s fun, with a dash of serious. Recommended for the younger readers (perhaps aged 5 – 10 years) that it’s aimed at. Lorraine (for Grace), ACT, 4 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody by Patrick Ness is a great funny young reader that inspires adventure, laughs and imagination. Was a lot of fun reading this with my 8yo Sheree, NSW, 4 stars
We laughed and laughed our way through this tale. Love that this book is set where every kid knows intimately, the school room, grounds and bus. Quirky animals go to this school, but you can see the major personality types in the animals and so forget the animals are the characters. Then it goes past the everyday to fanciful with a supervillain at the school and a country living on a knee! Great cartoon style illustrations. We loved it and give the book 4 stars. Sallie and Elodie, QLD, 4 stars
The Chronicles of a lizard Nobody was good. I liked how the story was based on three lizards that were hall monitors. There was a pelican that was in Zeke’s school that was being rude to Zeke. Pelicannarcus goes to Zeke’s house and Zeke has an infection like France is sitting on Zeke’s leg. The story had lots of plot twists which made the story interesting. Kylie, VIC, 3 stars
When three monitor lizards from the “poorer side” of town are bused to school as “part of a programme to get different types of students mixing together,” they find themselves in the firing line of one very unhappy, school-bullying pelican. In Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody, Patrick Ness takes big issues, like parental depression, social anxiety, friendship and bullying, and throws in an eclectic menagerie of creatures from around the world to write this story of surviving the roller-coaster of middle school. From the wombat principal with her armoured butt, to the vision-impaired hawk with no volume control, it’s a riotous adventure about fitting in, standing up for yourself, overcoming adversary and finding friendship in the most unexpected places. In this book, the wild imagination of Ness, offers young readers interesting and educating animal facts, a taste of French culture and a crazy, humorous ride. Natalie, NSW, 3 stars
Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody by Patrick Ness is charming book targeted to middle school students. Ness very gently covers many issues facing students at school. His humour and far fetched plot follows a group of lizards and the dangers they face from the school bully, Pelicarnassus. The importance of friendship is noted as the friends face bullying, family illness, loss and grief. Zeke feels inadequate but with the help of his lizard friends and disabled hawk, Miel, he eventually realises that being himself is enough for him to be a hero. Although the issues covered are serious, Ness has found humour a great way to impart life lessons. I found this book endearing and recommend it to all middle school readers and their parents. Annette, ACT, 3 stars
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