Hilarious and Heartfelt: Read an Extract from Wrong Answers Only by Tobias Madden

Hilarious and Heartfelt: Read an Extract from Wrong Answers Only by Tobias Madden

Lavora troppo!’ Nonna throws her hands in the air, one of them holding a crisp white tea towel with a lemon embroi­dered on one corner. ‘Sei giovaneSei belloPrendi la vita troppo sul serio.’

Whenever she feels particularly passionate about some­thing, Nonna abandons English and starts shouting in Italian instead. I can only pick out the odd word here and there – workbeautifulserious (I think?) – but her disap­proval is crystal clear to the three of us sitting around the wooden table in her cramped kitchen.

‘Sofia,’ Mum warns her, ‘the doctor said to keep Marco calm.’

Nonna huffs, turning back to the orange laminate bench under the kitchen window. Her house is only a few blocks from the hospital, so we came straight here when the doctor discharged me, rather than driving all the way home. The second we arrived, she started crumbing chicken schnitzels.

‘He works too hard,’ she says, hunched over plates of chicken fillets, flour, beaten egg, and breadcrumbs.

The ‘he’ she’s referring to is, of course, me. And I don’t work too hard. I work exactly as hard as I need to.

My eyes land on the newspaper sitting on the floral table­cloth amongst plates of biscuits and fruit and a mountainous pile of zucchini slice. The paper is from the eighteenth of December – just over two months ago – but Nonna refuses to move it, most likely to streamline her bragging process when her church friends pay her a visit. The headline on the front page reads: St Peter’s High Achiever Tops the State.

Something hard hits me in the shin, and I swear. I whip around to glare at Leo, who’s plonked himself at the head of the table in Dad’s absence. He grins back at me, braces gleaming in the noon light streaming through the lacy kitchen curtains. ‘Just trying to distract you from your feelings,’ he says.

‘You’re such a little s**t,’ I reply, reaching out to mess up his curly ginger hair. He bats my arm away and I slap him – softly – on the cheek with my other hand.

‘Leo,’ Mum snaps. ‘Not now.’

‘Marco started it!’

I scoff, folding my arms over my chest. I love my younger brother, I really do, but the constant presence of a twelve-year-old boy can test your patience sometimes. Especially when –

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Publisher details

Wrong Answers Only
Author
Tobias Madden
Publisher
Penguin
Genre
Fiction
Released
03 April, 2024
ISBN
9780143777403

Synopsis

Marco's always done the right thing. But now it's time for wrong answers only.

Marco should be at university, studying biomedicine. Instead, he’s been sent to live on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean with his estranged uncle, all because of a ‘blip’ everyone else is convinced was a panic attack. (Which it most definitely was not.)

And even though Marco’s trip is supposed to provide answers – about himself, about his family – all he finds on board the Ocean Melody are more and more questions.

But then his best friend CeCe proposes a new plan: for someone who has always done the right thing, in every possible way, it’s time for Marco to get a few things wrong. And hooking up with a hot dancer from the ship is only the beginning . . .

Tobias Madden
About the author

Tobias Madden

Originally from Ballarat, Tobias worked for ten years as a dancer, touring Australia and New Zealand with musicals such as Mary PoppinsCATSSingin’ in the Rain and Guys and Dolls. He now lives in Sydney with his husband, Daniel, and their Cavoodle, Ollie. In 2019, Tobias edited and published Underdog: #LoveOzYA Short Stories, which featured his first published work, ‘Variation’. He also co-wrote the cabaret show Siblingship, which played to sold-out audiences in Sydney, Melbourne and Canberra. Tobias is a passionate member of the #LoveOzYA and LGBTQ+ communities, and he currently works full time for a major independent publishing company.

Books by Tobias Madden

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