Sound check – Hours before the show

I exhale hard, making the softest whistle between my teeth. It’s done now. Everything is in place, waiting for the star of the show. Ironic, since there will be no adoring crowd tonight.

I’m not sure what I expected to feel. Regret, maybe? That some instinctive desire to preserve human life would kick in?

It doesn’t.

Instead, a slow smile spreads across my face.

I should get the hell away from the scene of the crime. Logic would have me far from here when what is about to happen, well… happens. But I linger.

Knowing suddenly isn’t quite enough. I need to see it happen. More than that, I want a moment where our eyes meet and there’s understanding. For what is justice if no one knows it has taken place?

The shadows provide some shelter, but I’m not exactly hidden away. There’s risk in staying here. But still I linger.

My ragged breath is loud in my ears, a backdrop for the staccato hammer of my heart, and I fear I won’t hear your approach. There is so much that could go wrong. So much. Like the fact that you should have got my note and been here by now.

Sudden, bowel-loosening terror slices through me. Have I made a mistake? Are you not coming?

But then you step onto the stage, and I can breathe again.

You sashay to the microphone, accepting the spotlight as your rightful place. You lean close, take a breath, and then notice the cord isn’t plugged in to the amp at your feet. Bending over, you pick it up and frown as though you’ve never seen that end of a mic before. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you’re not as sure you belong up there as you would like to believe. Maybe your palms are sweating and you’re worried the note was meant for someone else.

I don’t move. Don’t breathe. Don’t blink. Goosebumps rise on my skin. It’s time.

The silver end of the cable’s socket catches on the sunshine overhead and glints as you reach down to make the connection. In my head, I practise what I’m going to say.

Something terrible has happened…

Continue reading the extract here.

Buy a copy of The Last Encore here.