My wedding dress was made of tulle. I looked like one of those Kewpie dolls on a stick you’d buy from the Easter Show, but I felt every bit the beaming, blushing bride. I had pushed for the marriage. Well, to be honest, I had pushed for the wedding. I’d wanted a big, fun party, but I hadn’t for a second considered the reality of being a wife. When the party ended, I moved to Alice Springs with someone I had never lived with. At least it was a bloody good party.
I’d lost my virginity to Chris when I was nineteen after I got tired of saying no and knew he was the one. As a ‘good’ Catholic girl, I needed to marry him. For me, the night I first had sex was the night I committed to Chris forever. I lessened the shame I felt about having sex before marriage by ‘doing the right thing’. I was only going to sleep with one person my whole life and that person was going to be Chris O’Loughlin. I hoped that by marrying the bloke, I wouldn’t be sent to hell for my mortal sin…
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