Keep your Friends Close: Extract from Drum Roll Please, It’s Stevie Louise by Tanya Hennessy and Leigh Hedstrom

Keep your Friends Close: Extract from Drum Roll Please, It’s Stevie Louise by Tanya Hennessy and Leigh Hedstrom

ONE

I don’t know how many more times I can tell my baby brother to stop riding the cat. ‘Riley, off. Get off the cat. Don’t ride the cat. The cat is not a horse. He is a sad, old, moody cat who doesn’t like people. GET OFF HIM. Also, why are you in my room? I know you’re only two years old, but respect my boundaries, you feral baby. I AM TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS in here.’

Babies don’t understand business. Babies also smell. This baby currently in my room, riding the cat, smells like off milk. Oh, and he’s sticky. You touch that baby and you WILL need gloves and a mask. He always has a runny nose, even IN SUMMER. Why? Grosssssss.

‘Stevie, get up. NOW. You’ll miss the bus,’ Mum yells from the hallway. ‘Steven, get up.’

My name is Stevie. But Mum thinks calling me Steven is funny. She is not funny. She is, in fact, weird. She’s going through a phase. A ‘there’s a crystal for everything’, hippy dippy, incense in every room, phase. Mum insists on wearing tie-dyed house muu- muus, which are giant dresses that look like she cut a hole in a bed sheet, put her head through it and called it an outfit.

Last year she made us go to a meditation and yoga course for the summer holidays, as though that’s what every twelve-year-old wants to do. Although, it was funny when she farted in the quiet yoga room.

‘Steven!!!!’ Mum is now at my door. The cat has since run away in fear of its life, so Riley has moved on to chewing on my Maths book. (And honestly, I hope he eats it – I hate Maths.) I’m wrapped in my doona, looking like a burrito. I am NOT a morning person. (But I am a burrito person.)

‘STEVEN. You are going to miss the bus. And if you miss the bus, I will take you to school in the car, and I will get out of the car and wave you off in front of all your classmates. I will yell, “I love you, Steven Louise. I miss you already, my little joy.” ’ Mum’s really on a roll now. ‘It will be embarrassing, Steven. It’s my day off today and I’m as free as a bird to embarrass you if you don’t get on that bus!’

Continue reading here…

Reviews

Hilariously Relatable: Read our Review of Drum Roll Please, It’s Stevie Louise by Tanya Hennessy and Leigh Hedstrom

Review | Our Review

11 May 2021

Hilariously Relatable: Read our Review of Drum Roll Please, It’s Stevie Louise by Tanya Hennessy and Leigh Hedstrom

Related Articles

Podcast: Funny and Wise with Tanya Hennessy

Podcast

10 September 2018

Podcast: Funny and Wise with Tanya Hennessy

    Synopsis

    A delightfully funny and deeply relatable junior fiction story from one of Australia's most loved multi-media stars. Meet Stevie Louise. She is an entrepreneur (that's like a business person), an entertainer (obviously), and an extrovert on the inside (wait, is this a thing?). Stevie has a BRILLIANT PLAN. She's going to have fun, make money, and most importantly, make sure the Brooke Street kids stay best friends forever. Then a new neighbour arrives and threatens to derail all Stevie's plans. And then real disaster strikes. But the show must go on. After all, Stevie is a professional.

    Tanya Hennessy
    About the author

    Tanya Hennessy

    Tanya Hennessy is a face to watch and a voice to listen out for! Radio announcer, comedian, TV presenter and content creator... Tanya is quickly becoming known as a funny IT girl, and can currently be heard nationally on HIT FM network.

    Books by Tanya Hennessy

    COMMENTS

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *