Chapter 1
JOANY
JOANY MALONEY WAS PEDALLING WITH RAGE. IT WAS A DAZZLING morning outside but she was in the cavernous depths of Shellwater Bay Gym thinking dark, motivating thoughts. And if she hadn’t been riding a stationary bike, she’d have been halfway around the world by now.
She hunched forward and squeezed the strange foamy bike handles that curved up to chest height like a Harley-Davidson hog. They moved violently back and forth as Joany pedalled; a workout for the arms as well as the legs.
She let her mind stalk around for another angry thought to spur her on. At seventy-two years of age, she had plenty of material but exhaustion was creeping in. She glanced at her wristwatch and that’s when the handles slipped away.
Joany was shot. Straight in the boobs.
‘Ooofff!’ She clutched her chest.
Doug, the instructor, with his comically long chin and over- bearing deodorant, was leaning against a treadmill. Registering Joany’s distress, he peeled himself away and moved across the gym.
‘Is it your heart?’ He pressed a concerned hand on her shoulder.
‘My boobs,’ Joany moaned.
Doug’s sweet young face appeared relieved but then grew confounded. Joany imagined he was well-versed in how to use the defibrillator, not so much in how to administer first aid to an old woman’s tits.
The gym’s timer sounded, indicating everyone should move to their next activity. Doug offered…
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