My mother danced the Tyrannosaurus Waltz.
It is the dance of mothers and their monsters. The Tyrannosaurus Waltz is traditionally performed in the kitchen of any ordinary home, anywhere in Australia. The dance requires a young mother to hold her baby to her chest and stand before the monster who pretends to love them.
‘Please let me go,’ says the mother.
‘Not with my daughter,’ says the monster. ‘I will kill you first.’
And then the waltz can begin. Mother leads, monster follows.
She takes one step to her left and the monster takes one step to his right to block her. The mother then takes one step to her right and the monster takes one step to his left. And now they are dancing.
Mum says I will never dance the Tyrannosaurus Waltz. ‘You will not dance with monsters,’ she says. ‘But one day you will dance with a prince.’
The Tyrannosaurus Waltz can end in any number of ways, but the most shocking and spectacular way to end the dance requires the mother to take a paring knife from the dish rack beside the kitchen sink and thrust it into the soft flesh beneath the monster’s Adam’s apple. Mother and baby must then run for their lives. And never stop running.
This is how you dance the Tyrannosaurus Waltz…
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