I was on my way to scrounge some tobacco from Lucy, who I sometimes call L-Plate, and is probably the poshest person I’ve ever met – who doesn’t like anyone touching her and thinks the world is flat – when I heard it all kicking off in the little room next to the canteen. The room with the yellow wallpaper and the settee. The ‘music’ room, because there’s some dusty bongos on a shelf and a guitar with four strings. I could still smell that watery curry Eileen had done for lunch.

I’d eaten it all, don’t get me wrong. Two plates full, because I’ve always had a big appetite and you eat what’s put in front of you, but the whiff of it an hour or so afterwards was making me feel slightly sick. Yeah, I remember that. Mind you, lots of things make me feel a bit green around the gills these days and it’s not like this place ever smells particularly lovely, let’s be honest…

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