Long before Ruhi fell pregnant, she knew she was never going to be the ‘good Indian daughter’ her parents demanded. But when the discovery that she is having a girl sends her into a slump of disappointment, it becomes clear she’s getting weighed down by emotional baggage that needs to be unpacked, quickly.
So Ruhi sets herself a mission to deal with the potholes in her past before her baby is born. Delving into her youth in suburban Melbourne, she draws a heartrending yet often hilarious picture of a family in crisis, struggling to connect across generational, cultural and personal divides.
Sifting through her own shattered self-esteem, Ruhi confronts the abuse threaded through her childhood. How can she hold on to the family and culture she has known and loved her whole life, when they are the reason for her scars?
Good Indian Daughter is a brutally honest yet brilliantly funny memoir for anyone who’s ever felt like a let-down.
Read some great reviews from our Preview readers here:
This novel is captivating from start to finish – deeply personal at times and also peppered with a humour – a humour which is sweet but also covers a deeper pain that can be felt as an undertone to the written words. So beautifully and honestly constructed, I feel like I know the main character who is sharing her up and downs, inner thoughts and life with her readers (who in this case feels more like close trusted friends). Cathy, QLD, 5 Stars
Wow! I had the pleasure in previewing Good Indian Daughter by Ruhi Lee and it was fantastic. Such an emotionally charged powerful book she is an amazing woman for having the courage to write it and give her readers an insight into not only her own life but the Indian culture and the devastating treatment of children. Well done Ruhi! Katrina, QLD, 5 Stars
What an interesting and very revealing insight to Ruhi’s world. It made me laugh, but then feel very sad. The cultural divide that still exists in Australia and the need to “fit in” is always there. I felt honoured to enter Ruhi’s world and be able to explore with her the ups, downs, and challenges that were thrown at her. The things we do to try and not disappoint our parents! Ingrid, VIC, 5 Stars
Ruhi Lee’s memoir shows us the challenges growing up in a traditional Indian family in Melbourne, Australia. It is a very honest and candid account of the migrant experience of her family as well as the situations she has encountered that she addresses very openly and with emotion. Ruhi mentions topics including family relationships and obligations, mental health and trauma as well as racism and sexism. There is so much to learn from her recount and would be an eye opening and appealing read for every woman -or anyone interested in a experiencing a beautifully written memoir filled with emotional reflection. I loved reading Ruhi’s memoir and was deeply moved by her story. I look forward to reading any of Ruhi’s future works. Sharon, VIC, 5 Stars
The intriguing and witty memoir, Good Indian Daughter is the personal story of Ruhi Lee’s experience growing up in a traditional Indian family that has migrated to Australia. She is the first child and shows us the challenges she faces growing up in the suburbs of Melbourne. I enjoyed reading about Ruhi’s life. Some of Ruhi’s recounts are humorous and made me laugh while others are sensitive and can be triggering which made me feel anger and disbelief. Good Indian Daughter is an eye-opening memoir that is informative, thought provoking and emotional. Brittany, VIC, 5 Stars
This book had me before I opened the cover — I loved the subtitle “How I found freedom in being a disappointment.” Ruhi Lee has written a captivating and poignant memoir straight from the heart with Good Indian Daughter. Although I may not be able to relate to her on an ethnic level, I can certainly relate to how hard she tries to please her family. I think most of us can relate to this in some way. The family’s traditional Indian culture and her ties to both are strong, and Lee’s sense of duty is evident from the beginning. But she feels like a failure and it’s heartbreaking to hear her talk of how she not only fails at being a “Good Indian Daughter” in her family’s eyes, but also in her own. I loved Lee’s honest but light and funny narrative, her very authentic and moving voice paints a vivid description of her life in a very traditional Indian family where emotions were silenced and conflicts rife. Lee’s prose is beautifully descriptive, I felt so many emotions throughout this story, from shock and anger to tears, laughter and a sense of awe for this spirited woman’s courage and determination. Linda, QLD, 5 Stars
Good Indian Daughter is a memoir of the authors’ childhood growing up in Australia to immigrant parents as the author Ruhi Lee becomes a mother herself. Ruhi discusses the highlights and lowlights, the cultural clashes and reflects how she and her partner want to parent. It is a great read and gives an interesting perspective on how daughters may be seen differently in different cultures and the expectation to be a Good Indian Daughter. Would highly recommend it. Karen, VIC, 5 Stars
A heartfelt, honest and at times humorous memoir! Good Indian Daughter by Ruhi Lee is a memoir that tells of racism, physical abuse, depression, self-esteem issues, anxiety and a dysfunctional family. It is an eye opener, where readers will gain an insight of the conflicts of the cultural expectations and traditions of a south east Asian family, while growing up in Australia. Ruhi knew she was never going to be the ‘good Indian daughter’ her parents expected, she hopes her daughter’s life will be different from her own. This resonated with me, as a daughter of a half Chinese and the cultural differences with my family’s parenting. At times I was angry and at times I laughed when reading Ruhi’s memoir. Her memoir is a must read and much can be gained from reading Ruhi’s memoir. Teresa, VIC, 5 Stars
This book is a beautiful roller coaster. As someone who was born in Australia with an English background: the things Ruhi went through are almost unfathomable. I am extremely proud of Ruhi from just that short time reading the book for all the choices she made and everything she has powered through. I am so excited that the journey ends with her new start with her daughter, defying years of stereotypes for a life of love and promise. This doesn’t mean that her parents were completely to blame though… because it seems as if it’s almost built into the cultural identity (from the view of this book at least). Everyone wants success but success is never expressed in the same way for everyone. Thank you for writing the book Ruhi – it has given me a view of a world I won’t know but will certainly appreciate more. Danica, QLD, 5 Stars
I found this book a very emotional read. Devastating lows where I wanted to reach out to the storyteller, then moments of humour that gladdened my heart and made me smile. The honesty of the story was brave but the resilience of the character was heartwarming. A wonderful tale of a woman overcoming seemingly insurmountable hurdles. Deb, SA, 5 Stars
A beautiful memoir of her life, of the hardships and determination she has endured throughout her life while trying to uphold the image of the Good Indian Daughter to her family. This book moved me to tears at time and had me marvelling at Ruhi’s strength and reliance. The struggle throughout her life and into Adulthood to deal with what happened to her, how she strived to overcome the stigma of sexual, verbal and physical abuse while still craving the support and love of her parents to uphold their image of what she should be like was such a moving and uplifting story. Being unaware of Indian culture this book was definitely an eye opener to me to what is expected in their culture. However this book was more than this. This book was a journey of how one woman was strong and determined to not let history repeat itself with her own child, to overcome hardship and how to change the cycle of abuse. A very moving book. Christine, QLD, 5 Stars
Oh my…. where do I start? I absolutely loved Good Indian Daughter! Confronting, honest, humorous and heartwarming, this book had it all! A truly amazing account of one woman’s journey through life, certainly raw in parts, but a book difficult to put down! I have already recommended this to several friends! Congratulations Ruhi! Caren, SA, 5 Stars
The witty humorous first paragraph of Ruhi’s memoir sets the tone authentically, and cleverly plants hints that are only fully understood in retrospect. It is a personal story focusing on family relationships in the context of an Indian family who have migrated to Australia. As a first-generation migrant child, I could relate to the experience of sitting at the junction between cultural expectations of home and a new culturally Australian future but just simply wanting to find my place and ‘fit in.’ The story also rings true as an exploration of self-identity, family values and the angst that is prompted as a soon to be first time mother realises the responsibility of raising a new human being. Excerpts from childhood and young adulthood are interspersed with events unfolding in the present. This kept me always on the trail to find the sources of conflicts and family secrets as the layers personal trauma were revealed. Ruhi searches for resolution whilst the rawness of emotion simmers under the surface. The book was emotional and thought provoking and left me curious about how Ruhi’s life and relationships evolve in future years. Karin, NSW, 5 Stars
Ruhi Lee’s Good Indian Daughter is a funny, at times sad but heartwarming memoir that I could not put down. Being of south Asian descent myself, Lee’s description of her family, their cultural beliefs and mannerisms were perfectly depicted so much so that I could read her parent’s dialogue hearing their accents. Lee’s battle with her mental health, parental expectations and her own fears of “not being good enough” for those around her is a tale all too familiar with a lot of children from immigrant families. Her voice is an important one that is not heard from often in Australian literature. Overall, I loved this book and would highly recommend to anyone from either a similar background or those wishing to expand their own knowledge on cultural differences and the impacts they can have on children of immigrant parents. Lauren, VIC, 5 Stars
Reading Good Indian Daughter by Ruhi Lee took me on an emotion filled journey through unspoken trauma, family and culture. It was an honest and powerful reflection of experiences and feelings put into literary form that communicates the importance of women knowing they’re never alone and that help is available even in difficult times. The scars of our past don’t define the person we become and everyone matters. All the characters are important throughout the book and brought diversity while the themes very strong and at times confronting. Kylie, QLD, 5 Stars
I learnt a lot about Indian culture from this book but that is only the tip of the iceberg with this fascinating story. Themes of family, misogyny, violence, and clash of culture emerge through the story. But even more than the cultural overtones I related to the theme of women feeling lesser, feeling guilty they can never meet expectations, the struggle between generations, the constant guilt, guilt, guilt. Ruhi sums up how both Indian and Australian societies ‘preservation of messed up masculinities and misogyny’ mean women are driven to ridiculous lengths to achieve the impossible. Women can never win as they will always disappoint someone – if that’s the case why not be happy in yourself? The stories she tells of the abuse she suffered, and how difficult it is to break away from tradition when it’s all you have known are heartbreaking. How she tries to meld keeping her family involved while trying her own way of doing things that feel authentic to herself is difficult to read but a must read all the same. Because we can’t move forward without acknowledging and confronting the pain of the past. Can’t recommend this highly enough. Debra, NSW, 5 Stars
Wow what a book. A really wide eye opener. Not to give anything away but I do hope the Indian girls find peace and find love to help the healing. A very well written story with some hard felt feelings. I recommend reading this book. Loraine, QLD, 5 Stars
Author Ruhi Lee’s family immigrated to Australia but her parents could not leave behind their cultural norms and high expectations, that a lot of Indian children, especially daughters must live up to. I was expecting a hilarious story about an Indian girl adjusting in Australia and dealing with cultural differences, but this book was so much more. I can understand that it must have been tough for the author to pen down such a raw account of her difficult childhood and youth. There are so many moments where I could feel her pain, disappointments, and heart break. People avoid talking about and accept issues like mental health, body image, emotional and physical abuse. The author shared an unfiltered version of her struggles with these topics. Being an Indian daughter myself, I could relate to a lot of parts of this thought-provoking memoir. But then what I really admired is how Ruhi decisively took control of her life. She asked for help and tried to work out her issues. I imagine that by penning down this honest account of her life, she has shed her emotional baggage and taken a few more steps towards much happier times. Divya, NSW, 5 Stars
In her simple writing styles Ruhi intrigues us with her struggle to understand her relationship with her parents. But as we get further into the story we realise that the is much more to tell! Debra, VIC, 5 Stars
I was hooked from the first line and although I expected a comedic story, I discovered this book was so much more. Ruhi Lee had me laughing, smirking and genuinely caring about her and her life. I came along on her journey from dutiful (mostly) daughter to her realisation that following that path was destructive to her mental health. This was not written in a morose manner, but with a light, yet resolute touch and I hope that it is not the last we see from this author. An enjoyable read, despite the subject matter. Thank you to BetterReading for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review. Tracy, VIC, 5 Stars
Good Indian Daughter is the stunning memoir of Ruhi Lee, who tells her story with honesty and humour. The subject matter is at times brutal, but always sincere. Set as she is about to embark on parenthood, I could feel the tension between Ruhi and her parents throughout, just as I could feel Ruhi’s strengthening resolve that her own daughter’s experience of being parented would be very different from her own. There will be many who read this book and identify with Ruhi’s experiences, but this is an important book for a bigger reason. It challenges the reader to look beyond Ruhi’s story to acknowledge the atrocities that continue to face girls and women in Australia, in India and across the world. Voices like Ruhi’s will be invaluable in asking readers to reflect on how patriarchal systems continue to oppress, and how they can be dismantled. A highly recommended read. Belinda, SA, 5 Stars
Ruhi knows that she has fallen short of her parents’ expectations. For Ruhi, to be a ‘good Indian daughter’ means being someone completely different, negotiating a minefield of cultural expectations and being able to reconcile a lifetime’s full of conflicting messages. But when Ruhi marries and becomes pregnant, she is overwhelmed by emotional baggage. Ruhi decided to face the past before her baby is born. Ruhi and her parents emigrated from India to Melbourne when Ruhi was young. Like many others, Ruhi’s parents have made this momentous decision to provide a better life for their children. But the weight of these expectations combined with cultural differences can be a huge burden for any child, and Ruhi’s self-esteem is shattered. Can Ruhi find herself if she revisits the past? Can her parents accept her for who she is rather than their idealised view of who she should be? This is a well-written brutally honest account of reclaiming a life battered by the expectations of others. I think many readers of different backgrounds will be able to relate to Ruhi’s journey. Yes, it is complicated by cultural issues but the underlying theme of ‘never feeling good enough’ is one many will understand. Jennifer, ACT, 5 Stars
This is a unique warts and all memoir. I tore through this book and felt all her vulnerabilities and frustrations as though I was there. I was given an insight in to another culture and more specifically the significance of females in their culture. I loved how the memoir came full circle. KJ, QLD, 5 Stars
Ruhi Lee claims she is not brave (podcast: Stay at home with James and Ashley, 9/6/21) I disagree! This memoir is very brave! Although she uses a pen name, the emotional and psychological trauma Ruhi Lee relived during the writing of GOOD INDIAN DAUGHTER took a lot of courage. At times I had to stop reading in order to deal with the anguish I felt for Ruhi- her childhood trauma, her unmet emotional needs, the betrayal of trusted family members and the resulting anxiety she consistently experienced. Thankfully, Ruhi found people who listened, understood and validated her feelings and experiences. She was able to break the cycle of abuse, begin to heal and tell her story. The change of time settings from present to past are very well connected textually and easy to follow. As a mother of two daughters, I began to question if my parenting has had any long lasting, negative impacts on my girls. I found this book extremely emotional. GOOD INDIAN DAUGHTER is an important memoir for anyone to read, male or female, who has felt ignored, unloved or undervalued. Sandra, NSW, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5
This is a memoir of the author’s life from her birth in India and her family migration to Australia [when she was very young] to her life today. Growing up in a Melbourne suburb with her strict Indian parents life is not easy but although she faces many challenges she is a survivor. She enjoys her bi annual trips to India to see her grandparents and extended family many who later move to Australia. Getting a good education was important and she ended up going to university. Time moves on and she marries Jake and when she finds herself pregnant with a daughter she makes a decision to go back over some of the emotional baggage she carries. This both strengthened and destroyed some relationships but it is very important to her wellbeing. Many of the issues touched upon are relevant to everyone no matter what your colour or religion which is important in today’s society. Jill, VIC, 5 Stars
Having my own share of trying to be the “good” daughter of the Indian sub continent for the first good quarter of my life, Good Indian Daughter speaks close to my heart. Ruhi’s narrative is funny, sarcastic and moving. She describes the inner turmoil of every Indian daughter who tries hard but never fully fits into a society that isn’t in which she was born. It is the voice of not only Indian but also of every son and daughter who walks through the doors of life as a failure. Ruhi’s narration of her feelings are well-penned, bringing the feeling of being trapped a bit too personal. Every page and paragraph has a question that the society needs to answer, and answers that speak volumes of male patriarchal society, abuse and feminism and dwells deeply into how decisions should be made in every step of life. This is a memoir of every child who was made to live up to the expectations of their family, while failing to live up to their own. Fasmina, NSW, 5 Stars
This is a deeply personal and touching memoir of an Indian girl growing up in Australia. Trying to maintain tradition from her Indian culture whilst finding herself within a very strict old fashioned family. Sometimes funny often tough to read because she never feels good enough and always feels like the black sheep of the family. Its a touching story of always staying true to who you are and what you believe in whilst being sensitive about how your actions and beliefs will affect others. It’s culturally interesting and at the same time gives perspective on how people from different cultural backgrounds perceive us. I really learnt a lot from this great book and feel many would learn a lot about diversity from reading it. I loved it and read it in a day. Hirell, NSW, 5 Stars
This memoir is brave and truthful told with light humour and painful honesty. It drew you in and was hard to put down, highly recommended. Vanessa, NSW, 4 Stars
Ruhi uses humour in her book about growing up between 2 cultures colliding and the often seen “Do as I say, not what I do” in various aspects of our working and personal lives. I loved the way Ruhi injects her own humour around serious and normal parts of her life and I think we could all do with writing and talking about our past to someone even if we don’t take the time and effort to publish it like Ruhi. Overall it was a read that I really enjoyed, albeit containing some confronting parts. Bill, WA, 4 Stars
As an immigrant child in Australia, Ruhi Lee is caught between two worlds of vastly different cultures. Her memoir opens your eyes as to how her upbringing really was. The expectations of her family, to adhere to their traditional ways while also seeking acceptance by her school peers. Homelife, cooking, study and discipline – all very strict, with the focus on the future to be a good wife. Ruhi’s wit shines through as she shares her story. Although there is no way to soften or gloss over the fact that she was continually being compared to others within her family in regards to weight and looks. There were so many emotions that I felt through Ruhi’s words. To experience them physically and mentally – Ruhi is a very strong woman, and very determined to set a new way for her little family. Thank you to Better Reading and Affirm press for this ARC in return for my honest book review. Caroline, QLD, 4 Stars
A beautifully honest and raw memoir that left me reeling. Ruhi dives into her experiences from childhood where her traumas are compounded by cultural expectations and pressures. On the verge of becoming a mother herself, Ruhi realises the only way forward is speaking up and ditching the “good Indian daughter” persona expected of her. I was impressed by the way she candidly wrote about her horrific experiences, while interlacing them with lighthearted humour. I found myself cheering her on as I moved through her story. I didn’t love the heavy use of statistics unique to one of the chapters as it took away some cohesiveness; though, important nevertheless. Ruhi’s story moved me and will stay with me for some time, even if just as a keen reminder to support and believe our society’s daughters. Erin, NSW, 4 Stars
Ruhi Lee’s memoir is a entertaining look at what life is like growing up as the child of immigrants in Australia. Her parents are struggling to cope with a different culture and the fact that the expectations they are placing on their daughter, don’t necessarily suit the new country they call home. This is a well written memoir that I could really relate to especially growing up in Melbourne myself. And I really enjoyed the open-ness that Ruhi presented on her Indian culture. I really enjoy these types of memoirs as they are so different to my own life yet so similar in some ways. I wish we had more interesting life stories like this available. Kylie, VIC, 4 Stars
The memoir Good Indian Daughter by author Ruhi Lee, is a great read. After her family emigrated to Australia her parents wanted to hold onto traditional values whilst also looking for the great Australian dream. The book tells the story of her family, her parents, her partner, and their child. Ruhi candidly talks about the struggles, triumphs, and battles as the two cultures collide. The book offers a great insight into generational parenting styles across different continents. I thoroughly enjoyed reading Good Indian Daughter. Chris, VIC, 4 Stars
Lee covers her (Indian) family’s assimilation into Australian life/ culture – she does so with some humour, which certainly lightened the tone of the more confronting content. One determined generation is all that is needed to change the ways of their elders. This memoir really does need a content warning about the childhood abuse Lee lived thru – it’s a tough read for other survivors (regardless of racial background). Lee has produced a brave memoir. Thanks to BetterReading and Affirm Press for the review copy. Indigo, NSW, 4 Stars
I enjoyed this memoir by Ruhi Lee, written about a life torn due to not being who her parents wanted her to be. Her openness about a life facing religion, body image, bullying, racism and abuse, anxiety and depression will I am sure resonate with females everywhere and provide somehow strength and enlightenment for others. Sad and at times hard to read however, a must read in my eyes. Nicky, QLD, 4 Stars
This book starts out with Ruhi telling us about her family of Indian descent. Like many migrants to this country her parents had certain expectations of her and her future. Ruhi’s experiences in school and in making friends are also highlighted as well as return trips to India to visit family. As she gets into high school she starts to develop friendships that her parents are not at all happy about with an Australian boy. Like many migrants her parents want her to develop relationships with an Indian boy. This theme of holding onto their traditions of their homeland is one that is common in many migrants and their children are often at odds with this. Eventually Ruhi breaks free of some of these traditions and marries her Australian boyfriend. Ruhi’s struggle to be her own person comes to the forefront of her life as she is expecting her first child and she no longer wants to be expected to follow the traditions of her family. When Ruhi’s father has a heart attack many memories of her past return and confront her. She can no longer remain silent and must confront her father about what has happened to her as a young girl. The result is unexpected. Through this confrontation many issues are raised but this also makes her stronger and able to have an independent but encompassing relationship with her parents and extended family. Lisa, SA, 4 Stars
Good Indian Daughter will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions, from laughter and love to anger, rage and disbelief. Ruhi unpacks her life in this book, from sweet childhood moments with her parents, her struggles as a teen immigrant in Australia, to her almost independent life from her parents during pregnancy. Women of all races will connect in some way to one part or another of Ruhis’ traumatic journey through life. You may relive some of your own trauma and parent’s disappointments in you, you may even cry and want to withdraw or rebel as you did back then. I’m not brave enough to write how much of this book reflected my life as a half Chinese daughter coming to Australia, but by reading this book, maybe I’m not the only one now. Amanda, VIC, 4 Stars
Good Indian Daughter is a heartfelt memoir from author Ruhi Lee of growing up female and experiencing crushing cultural expectations of an Indian immigrant family in Australia. By sharing anecdotes and notable events she unpacks the trauma of her childhood. Ruhi proceeds to explore the impact upon her current life and beliefs. Her vulnerability draws the reader in. Her humour in recalling moments makes them feel the love and frustration that co-existed in dealing with familial expectations. The author shares the pressure that she hopes to avoid placing upon her own daughter. This will resonate with all mothers, no matter their culture. I enjoyed reading this book and the view it provided into the Indian culture. I have never experienced the generational expectations the author was under, yet on her behalf, I was feeling frustrated and disappointed with the attempts to control the direction of her life. I did find the jumping back and forth in time a little distracting initially. Despite this the writing drew me in, creating an emotional but enjoyable read. Sheree, WA, 4 Stars
Great book to read – written well with honesty, love and humour. It highlighted the expectations parents have for their children along with their hopes and dreams – something we can all relate to. It was emotional at times but that is to be expected from a memoir – with the love a family have for each other something we all need. Bernadette, NSW, 4 Stars
Ruhi Lee has penned a powerful and moving memoir in Good Indian Daughter. I found her story to be equally absorbing and disturbing and was so relieved that she managed to find a way out. The experiences portrayed in this story are true of many women and many cultures and would resonate with most readers. In my opinion the story was more sad than funny and the statistics quoted regarding sexual abuse and femicide were truly horrific. Although well written it is not an easy read as the trauma that Ruhi suffered at the hands of her immediate and extended family would be triggering for some readers. That said, I was glad I did read Good Indian Daughter and I enjoyed the cultural references regarding food and festivals. It is a story that will stay with you a long time and may even make one question their own style of parenting. Janelle, NSW, 4 Stars
I have two words that sum up this memoir: hilariously honest. Ruhi Lee does not hold back in her raw and heartfelt story of her upbringing as an Indian daughter in a modern Australian society. As she awaits the birth of her first daughter Lee, overwhelmed by her emotional baggage she has never faced, recounts her life growing up in order to discuss the pressures put on girls and women in both Indian and Australian societies. Lee explores racism, abuse, bullying, body image and self esteem, mental health issues, religion and cultural expectations through her novel. Whilst this could have been a very sad and angry memoir, and it has every right to be, Lee’s humour shines through making her book easy to read without lessening the impact or making light of her struggles throughout her life. Lee has a very strong and powerful voice in this memoir and I believe Good Indian Daughter will be highly relatable to all as I’m sure the feeling of never being good enough has resonated through all of us at some time in our lives. This memoir will probably hit closest to home for migrants or children of migrants who have experienced cultural differences from their peers first hand, and for these people I help this book will help them realise they are not alone in their experiences growing up in a relatively still close minded Australia. Cathie, VIC, 4 Stars
A really eye opening memoir of things I always presumed happened behind closed doors of many families, but just isn’t talked about openly. There were a few struggles that Ruhi went through that I personally connected with, and which made the book more interesting to read. I did find the timeline of events a bit confusing at times, but overall it was a thought-provoking read (I don’t want to say enjoyable, as that seems a bit disrespectful to the struggles Ruhi went through) and I didn’t want to put the book down. Candice, WA, 4 Stars
Good Indian Daughter is an intimate portrayal of Lee’s struggles (and ultimately triumphs) as she navigates life as the eldest daughter of immigrant parents from India. She is deeply conflicted by the cultural and traditional expectations placed upon her by her family which is in stark contrast to her views shaped by growing up in Australia. The memoir is well written. It is poignant in parts whilst maintaining its hilarity throughout. Although narrated in the first person, we as the readers felt privy to the perspectives of all protagonists (Lee herself, her mother and her father). This open and honest memoir tackles many important topics of mental health, emotional and physical abuse within the family, racism, and the cultural subjugation of women. Her strength in staying true to herself may have been a disappointment to her parents, but it is an inspiration to all immigrant daughters in Australia. Lina, VIC, 4 Stars
An emotional memoir. Ruhi shows us the challenges she faces growing up within her traditional Indian family in suburban Melbourne. Cultural traditions, changing times and personality conflicts are responsible for Ruhi’s emotional state and her need to seek guidance to heal her damaged self. Through intense family love and persistence, Ruhi deals with her past thus breaking the cycle to make way for an exciting future. Very sensitive and thought provoking!!! Karen, NSW, 4 Stars
This is a book of many emotions. The story of a Good Indian Daughter’s journey to find herself . I found this book was well written and so though provoking on what makes a good daughter and how do you find ones self when you are in a culture that expects you to obey with out question the rules. Ruhi Lee is a very brave woman who has experienced so much from joy ,laughter, anger, abuse and love. This is a book that provokes you to really look around you at the many woman from other cultures wondering what is hidden in their lives .Thank you that I was able to read this book and be educated into another cultures expectations. Janet, QLD, 4 Stars
What a first book! Ruhi vividly describes what it was like to grow up in her shoes. She writes with such heart- you feel like you’re there with her. I’m loving the insight into her families expectations and traditions. It showcases the things we keep behind closed doors as a family but brings to light the expectations placed on some young people. Some of the statistics she has in the book are confronting and infuriating. This book is like a rollercoaster of emotions! Over the span of the book, you will feel everything! Melissa, QLD, 4 Stars
This book left me shocked, laughing and hungry! When you read about other cultures you always learn new things and are sometimes shocked by others. Good Indian daughter taught me more about Indian society and the the challenges when other cultures combine. This book has people who made me laugh when faced with these cultural differences. I loved the characters and the food mentioned made me hungry all the time. It is a book that teaches you many things, but best of all it entertains you. The ingredients mentioned when food was involved and the characters and story all left me hungry for more! Raymond, WA, 4 Stars
Thanks to Better Reading for this ARC. I had already added it to my wanted list, so was delighted to receive a copy. I was not disappointed, it really opened my eyes to cultural awareness and diversity. Things we took for granted growing up are so different in other cultures. There are some funny moments, some really disturbing moments and I felt for Ruhi and her parents as they evolved into their new life in a different country, meanwhile maintaining their cultural beliefs and customs. I really enjoyed this book. Keryn, SA, 4 Stars
Ruhi Lee writes with candour and humour. Her memoir, written as she awaits the birth of her first child, is a journey into a life lived with an underlying guilt for not being the daughter her parents had envisaged. Good Indian Daughter is an engaging read. with Ruhi Lee’s relaxed style of writing I found myself fully immersed in her story. Many areas of Ruhi’s story will resonate with readers, even those not of Indian descent. Ruhi Lee is a strong voice for girls and women everywhere who are being subjugated and unheard. She speaks openly on bullying, body image problems, religion, misguided advice, depression, anxiety, racism and abuse. Reading Ruhi’s story made me sad, angry and overwhelmed but Ruhi’s humour throughout also gave me a few laughs which lightened, although didn’t lessen, the overall feel of the book. Good Indian Daughter is a brave and open story of shedding the guilt and living your own life. Veronica, NSW, 4 Stars
From the opening anecdote, Ruhi Lee paints a picture of a childhood in suburban Melbourne with her strict Indian parents. Their expectations that she be the “Good Indian Daughter” lead to family conflict, repressed trauma and disappointment. The story is full of humour and heartbreak which made for an engaging and illuminating read. The author’s struggles with her family were quite harrowing but I loved seeing her confront the problems with her parents before the birth of her daughter. The descriptions of challenging parental expectations and cultural norms in order that her daughter not have to live the same childhood were inspiring. I particularly loved seeing India through a child’s eyes. On Ruhi’s visits everything seemed so bright and exciting. Her fabulous use of language and imagery made the story so visual. Another aspect of the book I enjoyed was the mention of places that were familiar to me from my own childhood, including the Dandenong Market. Ruhi’s descriptions of her visits there evoked long held memories of the sights, sounds and smells of this bustling hub. Good Indian Daughter was a thought provoking and at times hilarious read that I highly recommend to lovers of memoir. Brooke, VIC, 4 Stars
I didn’t realise until I received the book that it was not fiction but in fact a memoir. I’m usually not a fan of nonfiction books so was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. Ruhi finds out she is pregnant with a daughter, which makes her question her own upbringing and definition of a good Indian daughter, not wanting her daughter to go through the same upbringing and insecurities as she had. Ruhi was born in India but her family immigrated to Australia when she was a young girl. We learn of her struggles to fit into Australian lifestyle at school while still having a very strict Indian family life. This book is written with honesty and humour. It is hard not to sympathise with Ruhi, and cheer her on as she fights against what she “should” be doing and feeling. I learnt a lot about the Indian culture and it opened my eyes to what many cultures experience, good , bad and very often traumatic. By halfway through i found it hard to put this book down, wanting to see how Ruhi found her way and how making a stand with her family could be resolved. I also found that I could see some things from the parents perspective, even if what they were doing doesn’t seem right – it’s just how they were brought up. I found the book eye opening, confronting but also funny and often heartbreaking in parts. I couldn’t help but admire Ruhi’s strength – Definitely worth a read. Thank you Better Reading and Affirm Press. Vikkie, QLD, 4 Stars
Ruhi’s parents brought her to Australia to give her a better life. Trouble is, they bought all their values and beliefs with them and expect Ruhi to abide by their rules and be a good Indian daughter. When she finds out she is having a daughter of her own she confronts all the pain of her childhood and struggles with the relationship she has with her parents. Christina, NSW, 4 Stars
I personally really enjoyed this book, although it may not be for everyone. It was raw, deep, sad at times and honest and I couldn’t imagine how hard it was to write her own story. I have to first say it had me wanting to know more the moment I started reading, to hear someone else’s story and how their religion is so different really shook me! Ruhi, whoever she really is, is an amazing and strong woman for standing up and doing what she felt was right. So much more I could say but it just really is an eye opener this book! Madison, SA, 4 Stars
This is a book that will stay with you for a while. Ruhi Lee tackles some big issues here. For an Anglo 63 year old, this look into the Indian community is fascinating. The deeper undercurrents of abuse and mistreatment are handled sensitively, and I liked how Ruhi tackled these issues rather than just accepting them. This is well worth reading for the role of women and mothers, it certainly made my think about my actions. Lyn, VIC, 4 Stars
This book touches on abuse, trauma, cultural and family issues to name a few. It is very well written, very honest and candid, incredibly interesting and intriguing and the author really captivated me with her story. I really felt for Ruhi and the difficulties and challenges she faced but I think she is a wonderful person, strong, brave, passionate and considerate. Overall, I found this to be a touching and worthwhile read, I would recommend this book to others. Danielle, VIC, 4 Stars
A really intriguing read. Multicultural in the heart of Melbourne. I felt compelled to just keep page turning, heartfelt and well written, female empowerment and confidence is learnt along the way in this moving and funny at times read, a past history turned into a positive future. Julie, NSW, 4 Stars
This heart wrenching self memoir reveals the ups and downs of a teenage Indian young woman finding her place in a modern society of Melbourne Australia whilst still trying to remain true to her Indian traditional culture. This task proves almost impossible as her parents want to remain faithful to the beliefs they were brought up under even though strict. They butt heads often leaving their relationships strained and distant. Ruhi feels like she has to keep secrets from them if she wishes to find happiness which she hates doing but must if she wants to become the best version of herself. The story is sometimes awkward, sometimes hilarious and sometimes terribly sad but it’s an honest depiction of her life through her own eyes. I strongly recommend everyone read it if they wish to learn more about integration and acceptance and diversity to make this country keep progressively growing. I really enjoyed. Janet, NSW, 4 Stars
Imagine sitting down, having a coffee with your best friend and chatting about your life, loves, hopes, dreams and fears. This is what its like reading Good Indian Daughter. Ruhi Lee has a beautiful writing style that invites you in, so close that you feel what she feels. Ruhi describes growing up trying to meet the expectations of not only her parents, but her culture. This constant struggle to achieve what they wanted her to achieve is accompanied by a family that wants the best for her, but also wants to dictate how and when that happens. Then, slowly as the book unfolds, Ruhi reveals deeper struggles and discusses the problem, not only of gender based violence and abuse, but also racism. Her discussion of the Indian and Australian cultures; what is accepted, what is considered ‘normal’ behaviour, may be eye-opening for some, give strength to others and raises many many issues that we all, as a society, need to deal with and overcome. It took courage for Ruhi (her nom-de-plume) to write this but it gives hope that the more light that is focused on these problems, the more visibility they will get, leading to us all to say – no more. Lee, NSW, 4 Stars
Having never been an Indian woman or ever felt particularly overwhelmed by my parents’ expectations, I wasn’t sure what to make of Good Indian Daughter by Ruhi Lee. It’s a time-jumping memoir of her relationship with her parents and her battles against cultural prejudice, racism, sexism and finding her place in the world. Lee was a very engaging author with a funny and charming voice that had me captivated throughout. I found myself a little disoriented by the way we’d skip back and forth through her life, often I’d have to do a little mental arithmetic to work out how old she was or try to infer it by where she was living at the time. I really appreciated how open and vulnerable she was able to be and how well she allowed the reader to join in her thought process and decision making. By the end, I felt quite honoured to have shared this journey with Ruhi. I may not be a woman or Indian and I’m the parent of two boys but I understand her world better and I understand the kinds of things I need to teach my boys to make them better, too. Richard, VIC, 4 Stars
A rather disturbing read, to be honest. It is very sad at times, but the author shows her resilience in coming through some very traumatic episodes in her childhood and early adult life. This book highlights the differences in the Australian standard of society and the traditional Indian standard of society. It is very traumatic/disturbing at times to see the abuse – physical, emotional, sexual and psychological – that these Indian parents bestow upon their daughter. Her finding love at an early-ish age is what sustained her throughout her life. The mother could be the most endearing person in the company of others, but at home she continually yelled/screamed at the daughter, even if she was an arm’s length away from her. The same applied for the father – very controlling and sadistic in the upbringing of this daughter compared to the persona he displayed to the public. You will need tissues at the ready while reading this book. Very disturbing at times, but uplifting at other times. True resilience from the author. An uncomfortable read at times. Glenice, VIC, 4 Stars
A great read in which cultural norms are respectfully highlighted and challenged. Perfect read for a long weekend! Heidi, NSW, 4 Stars
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It gave me an insight into a culture different from my own, but also highlighted some things we all have in common, family violence and trauma being something that is not limited to any one culture. This is an empowering book for anyone experiencing a similar life. I highly recommend it. Alice, NSW, 4 Stars
Certainly a different read to what I expected. This is a memoir of growing up in a strict Indian family and tells of the authors experiences of the abuse she has to cope with and accept almost as part of the culture. It is very raw and while in no circumstances is the behaviour acceptable I did feel for the Mum in the honesty and rawness told. Some parts might be amusing but I did not really find it funny like mentioned on the book, if anything a sad reflection on our societies to cover up and accept this treatment. Virginia, NSW, 3 Stars
Ruhi Lee has written a memoir about trying to be the “good” daughter and the feelings and emotions that come with falling short of her parents’ expectations. It isn’t until Ruhi becomes pregnant with her own daughter that the pain and disappointment of her own childhood overwhelms her and she starts to process her emotional baggage, resulting in a raw and honest memoir. While Ruhi writes a brutally honest account of her childhood, I was often left frustrated at only hearing her perspective. At times I was left feeling very sad and hurt for Ruhi’s parents and was left wondering about their feelings in relation to their daughters memories. I can see that everyone in Ruhi’s story would have feelings of ‘never feeling good enough”. The letter that Ruhi’s dad wrote her towards the end of the book left me with tears. Ruhi’s style of writing is relaxed and engaging and this story can resonate with many readers from all cultural descent. The story covers many topics such as religion, bullying, depression, abuse, sexual assault and expectations one has of their parents and expectations children have of their parents. Thank you Better Reading and Affrim Press for the advanced reading copy of this book, overall it was an engaging read. Ally, TAS, 3 Stars
This was a really brave book written by Ruhi and I can imagine it would have been difficult to write. I really enjoyed this book to learn about Indian culture around family and food and the migrant experience in Australia. The latter part of the book about Ruhi taking difficult situations ‘head on’ was harder to read and I tried hard to empathise but felt that maybe I was not the correct audience. I applaud Ruhi for her excellent writing and her honesty and I hope she continues to write. Elizabeth, QLD, 3 Stars
Good Indian Daughter by Ruhi Lee is a memoir written by a young married woman about to give birth to a daughter and retelling her own past in a gritty, no holds barred manner. Her upbringing as the first child of a traditional Indian family who migrate from India to Melbourne holds many similarities to other daughters of other backgrounds but is interesting in that we get a sense of the expectations, familial relationships and general baggage Ruhi has to deal with growing up. We hear of corporal punishment, abuse, psychological manipulation, body shaming, guilt and depression….with seemingly little respite. I didn’t really find too much humour but after counselling sessions both alone and with family, Ruhi finds her voice and constructs some boundaries to protect her own family from the mistakes of the past. She speaks up strongly for anyone in the same predicament and if awareness is raised then this memoir hits the spot. Thanks to Better Reading Preview #brpreview and Affirm Press for the advance reading copy. Lesley, SA, 3 Stars
Good Indian Daughter book by Ruhi Lee is a good combination of family matters, married life and the fight for inner peace. The author’s willingness to be candid and vulnerable throughout allows for a beautifully relatable transformation in her and her family. Being Indian, I could relate with few scenes described in the book with her mum and could laugh with author to the point that i was cackling out loud to be seen as an insane but it certainly does not represent Indian family culture. I only had one issues as author was jumping from one topic/issue to another and it was hard to remember who was who and what exactly happened before. This was a very enjoyable book and well worth for light reading. Jyoti, NSW, 3 Stars
A heartfelt story about growing up in a household of high expectations. This is probably a situation that, in some respects, is common for many teens and may be a highly relatable experience. I’m probably not the target audience for this book (a bit millennial) and was not overly engaged. The writing was fluent and there were moments of humour but I found it missed any deep insight that may have made it a standout. Tundra, ACT, 3 Stars
This witty, well-written book provides great insight into the pressures of combining Indian culture into Australian society. Regardless of their heritage, every reader will find this memoir relatable in some way. Traci, NSW, 3 Stars
Ruhi has been raised in a loving but strict (and strictly patriarchal) family. Her parents migrated from Dharwad, India to suburban Melbourne when she was a toddler. Their romance, spanning class and religion, is not too dissimilar to a Bollywood plot. The message of those movies typically is that, when it comes to romance and sex, men are in charge with the Good Indian Daughter being virtuous, honour bound and self-sacrificing. Small wins see Ruhi experiencing ‘Australian playground cuisine’ (but the cheaper version of Vegemite), and having an Australian boyfriend (parental rules and boundaries applied). Enrolled to study her parents’ preferred subjects, Ruhi’s poor performance at university leads to feelings of disgrace and panic attacks. She is mandated to attend counselling, transgressing the rule never to discuss family matters with outsiders. Life decisions are based on cultural etiquette and there’s much guilt imposed when choosing to live life on her own terms. When eventually married with a baby on the way preserving these traditions or keeping dark family secrets is no longer on Ruhi’s agenda. At times this is an intense read, with eye-opening statistics about honour killings; female suicide risk due to gender discrimination; illegal ‘missing’ female births. In this culture, females are liabilities rather than assets but handled with a mitigating sense of humour Ruhi Lee makes this memoir both educational and palatable. Anita, QLD, 3 Stars
This appears to be a very honest account of Ruhi Lee’s life thus far. She describes situations in her life that depict the challenges of being a daughter to Indian parents struggling to combine their traditional cultural values with their new life in Melbourne, Australia. She does this analysis in the context of her impending motherhood after she discovers she will soon have her own daughter. Although the situations she recounts are often humorous, there are some very traumatic and, perhaps for some readers, triggering experiences described. For me this memoir was a thought-provoking exploration of not only the migrant experience for this family but also a portrayal of some childhood situations and observations that could be shared by many women regardless of their cultural background. Regina, NSW, 3 Stars
The book is a memoir and it grapples with themes that will be familiar to many – not feeling good enough, high expectations from parents, insecurity about impending motherhood, dealing with the past. It also delves into the experience of being the child of immigrant parents and caught between two worlds. I found the author tried a bit hard at times by touching ing ideas of colonialism, misogyny and racism (without enough depth) but perhaps that is a generational thing. Overall it’s an interesting and honest account, easy to read and enjoyable with lively characters. Dominique, VIC, 3 Stars
Ruhi’s memoir is like listening to her speak, warts and all. I felt out of touch reading it because of the colloquialisms which are of a different generation. Raw and honest. Kim, QLD, 3 Stars
Good Indian Daughter by Ruhi Lee was a difficult read. The basis of the memoir was the author’s turbulent relationship with her parents and the cultural expectations that were imposed. Even though there was meant to be funny moments throughout, I couldn’t find them. Ultimately, it was uplifting at the end but the struggles of her childhood were sad. It was a hard book to read. Karlie, SA, 2 Stars
Interesting different style of story relating to many cultural beliefs I wasn’t really aware of, enjoyed the humour & many explanations of family life. Laraine, QLD, 2 Stars
A tribute to many cultures that require daughters to comply to the wishes of THE Family. Honour, compassion but not as in-depth as my expectations. Annie, NSW, 2 Stars
I found this book very thought provoking. It is about a young Indian girl and her family that come to Australia to start a new life but still live in the Indian ways and beliefs. As Ruhi grows up she learns parts of the Australian way of living and now knows that Indian ways are, which are ruled by men are forbidden. She has looked into statistics and they are very gut wrenching to think things like this actually happen and still do. I found this book a bit hard to read at times but was well worth it in the end. Sue, NSW, 2 Stars
Acknowledgment of Cultural Fund support
Better Reading acknowledges the support provided by Copyright Agency.
Better Reading also acknowledges the Traditional Custodians on whose land our office stands: the Gadigal people of the Eora nation, and their Elders past, present and emerging.
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