What if you felt like you’d cried all the colours away? The heart-wrenching new story of friendship, loss and identity from the author of international bestseller As Long As the Lemon Trees Grow.
Joining an exclusive high school should be a fresh start for Jihad after her mother’s sudden death. But she’s the only Muslim student there; her hijab and even her name make her new classmates suspicious.
Only one person treats her with kindness but Jihad can’t help questioning his motives. It’s hard to trust anyone when she meets indifference or hostility all around her. As tension mounts, she finds refuge in an old sketchbook and in the stories her mama used to tell her. She is determined to focus on making it to art school and a brighter future, but as she starts illustrating her mother’s memories, her canvas becomes bigger than she could ever have imagined.
Can Jihad become as resilient as the true meaning of her name, and let the colour back into her life?
Buy a copy of The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue here
Read some great reviews from our Preview readers here:
Some books move you. Some books stay with you. The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue did both. This story was emotional, raw, and quietly devastating in the most impactful way. It explores grief, identity, prejudice, and the unfair weight so many Muslim women carry simply for existing as themselves. So many moments made my chest ache, not only because of the story itself, but because these realities exist every day while so many people choose not to see them. Zoulfa wrote this with so much care and honesty. Her writing felt vivid and intimate, like stepping directly into Jihad’s world and experiencing every beautiful and painful piece of it beside her. Even while tackling heavy themes, there’s a softness to the storytelling that made it hit even harder. Jamie completely stole my heart. He was gentle, patient, and endlessly accepting, while Jihad’s guarded nature felt deeply understandable considering everything she carried. Their friendship felt genuine, healing, and deeply human. This book made me think, made me emotional, and most importantly, made me incredibly grateful to have read it. If you’re looking for a story that will gently break your heart while opening it wider, I cannot recommend this enough. Melissa, VIC, 5 Stars
This book had me gripped in an emotional journey from start to finish. I felt like I was right there with the main character exploring so many heart wrenching topics and wanting to reach through the book and tell her that it would be okay. The beautiful world and journey that is explored through the eyes of the main character in this book is superb. I loved the weave of themes from colour, emotions, complex relationships and real world social topics that come together to tell this beautiful story that makes you feel like you too want to stand up and have a voice and be part of a needed societal change. This was my first time reading Zoulfa’s work and I am excited to see more. Kayla, TAS, 5 Stars
A powerful story that had me entranced from the very first chapter. Jihad’s journey in trying to recover her blessing whilst also trying to navigate her identity as a Muslim and hijabi woman in a world that wishes she were anything else was awe-inspiring, raw, and compelling. Jihad displays incredible strength and resilience, and her experiences at such a young age are devastating. My heart constantly broke for Jihad as she had to overcome the prejudices against her, as she had to learn to navigate the new social circles (and watch as the ones she thought were strong fall apart), to the shocking truth of her mother’s death, and the estrangement of her Baba. I was forever grateful for Jamie being a character who was a source of light and understanding in her life; who didn’t diminish her to her skin colour, religion or her hijab. Reading as each colour came back, as Jihad herself came back to life, was a treasure and a valuable metaphor for grief. This is a story that is going to stay with me for years to come. A reflective piece of fiction that will definitely have readers evaluating their own inherent biases and empathy. Jeanette, NSW, 5 Stars
I found this YA book to be intensely moving with its themes of loss, identity and also friendship. It is the story of a Syrian American teenage girl , Jihad who starts at an exclusive high school after the unexpected death of her mother. Rather than being a new start for her, the school experience was difficult. Being the only Muslim student enrolled there she was not accepted , was treated with suspicion and bullied. Only student was kind to her. Even so she was unsure of his intent in being kind to her. In order to manage her isolation and unbearable grief, she began to paint the story of her mother’s life in a magical sketchbook which that had been carved from a tree in Syria. Her work then became much larger than she would have ever envisioned. It is a beautiful magical story about the strength that can arise out of grief. Catherine, QLD, 5 Stars
Jihad means ‘to struggle to become the best version of yourself. To overcome obstacles. To be strong. To dream despite it all. To survive. To live’. Katouh’s novel is the story of how the young hijabi school girl, Jihad, endeavours to live up to her name, despite persecution by others who only see an enemy. Katouh’s description of Jihad’s suffering is deeply moving, and raises awareness of how isolating and scary bullying can be. She exposes Islamophobia for what it is, racism based on a false stereotype, ignorant about Islam and the life of a Muslim. The character Jihad stays strong in her beliefs, steadfast and determined, and is a powerful example of resilience.The shocking realism of Jihad’s daily ordeal is counterbalanced with elements of magic, the ‘blessing’ that enables Jihad to see the colours that make up the soul of a person; she can see and taste the splash of colours. Her dreams following her mother’s death lead to the creation of amazing works of art that offer hope and love. The power of her art can transform people’s attitudes. Zoulfa Katouh’s writing is equally powerful; it is an enthralling and rewarding read that may be enjoyed by both YA and older readers. Highly recommended. Helen, SA, 5 Stars
The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue is wow. This is the type of book you read in one sitting, hanging on to every word, only stopping to close the book in disbelief, or to go get tissues. You’ll be kicking your feet, then next second, screaming into a pillow. This magnificent novel follows Jihad, a 17 year old Muslim girl who struggles with the change of high schools, resulting in an extreme level of tension. Her artwork and a true friend help her cope with the stress. The challenges thrown at Jihad are undescribably hard, attempting to destroy her mental and physical health. The words were heartfelt, deep, and real. This is an young adult novel, however at the youngest age a mature 11 year old would be suitable to read this novel. The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue is set in a modern timeline in New York City while also mentioning the Arabic states and countries. I simply, loved, The Ocean Would Paint my Blue by Zoulfa Katouh. Georgie, VIC, 5 Stars
This book is beautifully written and unapologetically centers a Muslim story. When Jihad’s mother passes away, her world turns dark—the color drains from her life, and all joy vanishes. On top of her overwhelming grief, she faces racism and Islamophobia at school, forcing her to fight just to be herself, wear her hijab, and safely exist. But when she meets Jamie, he helps her begin to feel alive again. This is a deeply emotional story. Zoulfa handles heavy themes of grief, loss, bullying, and friendship with incredible grace. Ultimately, it’s a powerful testament to staying true to yourself and your beliefs, even when they challenge the mainstream. Debbie, VIC, 5 Stars
Wow – this book is such a beautifully written story full of imagery and emotion. The book follows Jihad who has moved to a exclusive high school in which she is the only muslim there whilst going through her mother’s recent death. Highly recommend this book! 5 stars! Jacinda, NSW, 5 Stars
This is the book that everyone needs to read at this moment in time, and when I say everyone, I mean young adult and adult alike, from 15 to 95. This is a beautiful story that is thought-provoking on so many levels. It opened my eyes up to many issues that Islamic people face everyday but expressed this viewpoint and in an engaging way, non-judgmental way. Truly inspiring! Angela, VIC, 5 Stars The Ocean Would Paint me Blue is a beautiful tale of loss, friendship, racial prejudice and hope for the future. Marketed at the Young Adult audience, this story is equally engaging for adult readers. The writing is full of beauty and lyricism, with the imagery at the forefront of the novel. It clearly brings to light the difficulty faced by teenagers of minority races in a judgemental society. The main character, Jihad, attends a high school where she is the only Muslim student. Wearing her hijab immediately marks her out as a target for cruel taunts and pranks, however she is befriended by a fellow student who she must learn to trust if she is to move out of her misery and move towards a brighter future. Karina, QLD, 5 Stars
So poetically written an enjoyable of a read. Tugged on the emotions for sure but so worth reading. Emma, QLD, 5 Stars
A devastatingly beautiful read about grief, identity, and finding your voice again after loss. Absolutely one of my favorite reads of the year. JUST WOW!!! Cant wait to read Zoulfa’s other novel, ‘As long as the lemon trees grow’. Emma, WA, 5 Stars
The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue was breathtaking, heartbreaking and memorable. I was captivated by the story telling of Zoulfa Katouh. This touching story deeply moved me and changed who I am as a person today. I highly recommend this read. Vanessa Abela, NSW, 5 Stars
This novel was deeply moving to me and I encourage any teenager or parent to read. It focuses on grief, safety and is linked deeply to friendship. The novel is primarily focused on Jihad’s experience in the western world as a Muslim. The book really helped me understand different cultural practices and celebrations, as well as the prejudices held in western society. I particularly enjoyed all the descriptions of yummy Syrian and Vietnamese food. Jihad’s experiences in colour give a dynamic element to the book and really help shape her recovery from the passing of her mum. Her friendship with Alexis and Jamie are deeply moving as they develop – the way they support Jihad help her navigate her schooling. Racism and bullying are explored and it can be an uncomfortable read but there is a lot of content in this book that is not ‘taught’ but needs to be understood to be a good human. I am looking forward to reading more books by Zoulfa and will be grabbing a copy of ‘As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow’. Melanie, NSW, 5 Stars
Oh my! What a joy this story was to read! Having no real knowledge of being Muslim, I found this tale equally fascinating and confronting as we navigated through Jihad’s story. And what a beautiful tale! The idea of the blessings is something I wish, as a Caucasian, we believed in and could manifest as both Jihad and her mother did. And explaining it through the joy of colour really had me invested as I myself also express my emotions through art. Even though this is a YA book, I would highly recommend it to anyone- it is beautifully written, and the characters and situations are bought to life in such a transparent way- I literally could not put it down.
Jamie was my favourite character- what a fantastic and empathetic friend! Jihad truly was blessed to have him come into her life. The casual racism and bullying was explained so well- I could picture each scene clearly and my heart broke for Jihad so many times as she was let down by friendships, authority figures and sometimes her family. But the uplifting moments were truly that-awe inspiring and poignant! Kathy, VIC, 5 Stars
An insightful read. Jihad has a name and a culture that people take exception to. As the daughter of Syrian immigrants; she is both an outsider in the country of her heritage and that of her birth. A natural artist, to fulfil her dream to study at a prestigious art school, she is challenged by circumstances and the loss of her blessing; the gift of seeing the world in colours which inform and guide her; skilfully emphasised by chapter colour names throughout. Mourning her mother’s loss, her sister’s emigration and grieving father’s emotional absence, enrolment at an exclusive school highlights adolescent angst, jealousy, need to belong, bullying and inept leadership in the face of racism, an entitled cohort and their powerful parents. An interesting surreal element in the plot, enhances her reconciliation journey, along with a steadfast true friend, another’s acceptance and understanding, who defend and support her to make a stand despite the consequences, to make a difference, not just for herself but for all hijabi Muslim women. Jihad’s journey crosses time and place; dealing with grief, the importance of family, culture and food, being true to oneself, coming to terms with life’s the trials and finding yourself. Nell, NSW, 5 Stars
The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue by Zoulfa Katouh is a captivating and emotional YA novel about a young woman named Jihad who begins her journey at a new school after the sudden death of her mother. She faces Islamophobia and unkind classmates who cause her to seek solace in a sketchbook which she uses to process her grief and illustrate the stories her mother shared with her. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this gut-wrenching and heartbreaking book, as the thoughts and feelings portrayed were so well articulated and allow the reader to feel the emotions of Jihad’s grief, displacement and longing for belonging. I highly recommend this story to fans of YA fiction and emotional tales involving identity and hope. I look forward to reading other works by Zoulfa Katouh. Brittany, VIC, 5 Stars
I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy of ‘The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue’ by Zoulfa Katouh through Better Reading Australia, and it was an emotional read that stayed with me long after I finished. Jihad is a teenager starting at a new high school, hoping for a fresh start alongside the one friend she already knows. However, when she experiences bullying because of her Muslim identity and even her name, she discovers that friendship is not always what it seems. The loyalty and support she expects are not always there. Fortunately, Jihad finds a true friend in Jamie, whose kindness and acceptance help her navigate the challenges she faces. Their friendship was one of my favourite parts of the story and a reminder of the difference genuine support can make. This novel explores themes of bullying, prejudice, belonging, and resilience. Some readers who have experienced bullying may find parts of the story confronting. At times it was heartbreaking and even brought me to tears, yet it is ultimately a hopeful story about courage, friendship, and finding your place. Laura, NSW, 5 Stars
i couldn’t put this book down. it was such an emotional story and i spent most of it in tears. zoulfa deals with bullying, grief, and loss in a way that feels so damn real and honest. the main character jihad, went through a lot of bad experiences, and her growth kept me until the very last page. the writing is sooo beautiful, haunting, and unforgettable. i truly don’t have enough words to explain how much this book hits a spot in reality. Anna, QLD, 4 Stars
A bold, bright and intensely colourful story of friendships, lost and found, and a fascinating insight into cultural differences and difficulties faced by those in minority groups in modern society. Astrid, VIC, 4 Stars
How does one story have the ability to invoke so many feelings? From tears to laughs and all between. The author has crafted such a beautiful story of Jihad who is sent away to an academic high school after her mum passes. The colour in Jihad’s art has disappeared and there must be a way to bring it back. The family’s grief will slowly be resolved. Sharnee, QLD, 4 Stars
an engaging read that kept me captivated. Heartfelt journey and dealing with loss makes a young girl achieve her goals and dreams. Relatable and informative page turner about young jihad and her loss and her journey that follows. Julie, NSW, 4 Stars
Jihad is a seventeen year old Muslim girl who is completing her final year of high school at an elite private school in New York. She is an incredibly talented artist and is hoping to get into a renowned art school in San Francisco called Opus upon her completion. However, some of the white privileged and ignorant students in her class see her as undeserving and a bullying campaign ensues. As Jihad cultivates a meaningful friendship with school heart throb Jamie, this seems to further inflame the situation. This book invoked a rollercoaster of emotions in me ranging from anger to inspiration and as a YA novel, it is very relevant to our current times and multiculturalism. Kim, NSW, 4 Stars
A heartfelt read, engaging storyline that kept me page turning and learning into jihads life and see her dream come true turning her feelings into art,helps her navigate lifes ups and downs, a great read and realism to keep you page turning. Julie Morgan, NSW, 4 Stars
The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue is a really interesting read about being Muslim, fitting in, relationships, art and food. I loved the details in the story relating to art and food, it’s where the story really came alive. Naming the chapters after colours in a palette was a great idea. I was also a huge fan of the bee listed in the acknowledgements, it made my day.
Apart from the negative situations in the story which made me frustrated and angry, I wasn’t a huge fan of the epilogue as it didn’t give any closure to the big questions. Jodie, WA, 4 Stars
The ocean would paint me blue, by Zoila Katouh is a thought-provoking and emotion-grabbing novel about a young Muslim girl, Jihad, residing (if not fully “living”) in New York The book begins with the juxtaposition of the striking colours that used to encapsulate Jihad’s life and the depressive gray that she now sees the world in Before we even realise how important this loss of colour is we can feel it. The loss of the brilliantly described colours, to be replaced by dull versions of gray, felt like a physical loss Unsurprisingly, the book centres around cultural differences; it highlights blatant racism at its worst, but also the daily, simmering discomfort borne from naïveté rather than malice My heart was heavy for most of the book. I was always waiting for the next fight; the next bad thing to happen; the next horrible feeling to be felt. But when Jihad finds a surprise heirloom sketchbook, finally a moment of Hope arose. Sometimes I felt like the author, Zoila Katouh, was so intent on imparting as much cultural information as she could that it took away from the actual story. In places, it felt more like non-fiction than fiction. Alicia, NSW, 3 Stars
I liked parts of this book, but it didn’t completely land for me. The writing is gorgeous — Zoulfa Katouh definitely knows how to create atmosphere — but the story felt way too long. There were stretches where I just wanted things to move along. I also struggled with the main character. Their constant overthinking and emotional spiralling got a bit tiring, and it made it harder to stay connected to the story. I get what the author was trying to do, but it sometimes felt repetitive rather than deep. That said, there are some lovely moments and beautiful imagery. It’s not a bad book — just one that didn’t fully click for me. Mike, NSW, 3 Stars
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