Side-splitting humour: The best Dad-jokes, as voted by you!

We love to spread good vibes!

Every Friday at 6 pm we announce a competition. Lucky readers can win books and other goodies by simply answering an easy question. For our recent competition, we asked for your best Dad-jokes. We received an avalanche of hilarity, including Dad-jokes, knock-knocks and almost every type of joke imaginable. The response was so overwhelmingly enthusiastic and rib-crackingly funny that we thought we’d share them with everyone, especially for Father’s Day.

To all the funny Dads, dancing Dads, playful Dads and hilariously pathetic joke-telling Dads we say “THANK YOU and HAPPY FATHER’S DAY”.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

What do you call a lady standing in the middle of a Tennis Court? Annette!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

Kid: (whining)  I’m hungry

Dad: Hello Hungry. Want a sandwich?

I took the shell off of my racing snail because I thought it would make it faster, but if anything it made it more sluggish

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!

What’s E.T short for? Because he’s got little legs!

I don’t trust the stairs. They’re always up to something…

Dad: What’s the time?

Kid: Two thirty

Dad: Time for the dentist!

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Close the door I’m dressing!

Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish!

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it!

What do you call a pig doing Karate? A pork chop!