Anon: Does anyone else feel like they’re drowning? I’m a working mum who just sent my kid to kindy in their swimmers because there’s no clean underwear. The mood in the house in the mornings means the dog is now on anti-anxiety medication and I find it impossible to get my child to cooperate. My partner does his bit, but he travels quite a lot for work. We don’t have family nearby. Am I missing some necessary skills for adulting? What would you do to make it easier?
Eve Liaw: It sounds like you’re still doing a great job. Cut corners, set priorities, be kind to yourself. My best hack: put the kid to bed in clean clothes for kindy the next day and serve breakfast in the car (bananas, a smoothie or Ziplock bag of dry cereal). Also, near enough is good enough. Your mental health matters too.
Amber Green: Could you try waking up before your children and meditating for a bit to set some intentions? Then devote time to properly connect with your child in the morning; breath work and aerial play are both great. If your children feel less like an item on a To-Do list to be ticked off, the change in their behaviour may surprise you.
Anon: Wow. OK. Thanks. Never once did I intend for my child to feel like that. Add ‘flagellate self, further’ to my list for the day. Serves me right for asking the internet for advice.
Christine Randolph: Hun, if the job is a problem, PM me. There are some opportunities with lots more flexibility you might be really interested in.
Brie Jones: Yes, it can be that hard. You’re being asked by the world to do two jobs. I have some magic words for you: Au Pair. Get another set of hands and it will change your life.
When Stella collected Ava the Au Pair from Sydney Airport, the poor girl was so wobbly with sleep deprivation and jet lag that she almost appeared drunk. She was wearing black leggings, sneakers and an oversized emerald hoodie with the word ‘KALE’ on it. Her backpack and suitcases dwarfed her, and Stella’s first impression was that of a tortoise still growing into its shell.
Stella had brought a welcome pack to hand to Ava in the car. She had included a beach towel and a pot of Vegemite, some sunscreen and a keyring with house keys on it, an Opal card for public transport, an old pink iPhone loaded with emergency contacts, some nice lavender hand cream and a sleeve of Oreo cookies and Tim Tams, for comparison.
Stella also included a binder, with as much information she could muster about her expectations and how her family functioned.
There was the simple logistics of the schedule: two days a week care of Natalie, help with pick-ups for two other afternoons. Then a list of simple things that could be done to help around the house: a few home cooked dinners, basic errands, a load of washing here or there for the girls.
Leave a Reply