Briefly tell us about your book
I’ll Leave You With This is about the four O’Shea sisters, Allison, Bridie, Clare and Emma, all very different and not at all close, and their quest to trace the recipients of the organs donated following the death of their only brother, Daniel. That sounds rather grim and maybe a bit macabre, but I swear the book is life-affirming and hopefully even funny in parts.
What inspired the idea behind this book?
I work as a neuropsychologist and have long been fascinated in the intersection of the medical and the personal- my previous novel was about post-traumatic stress disorder after abduction, and another about genetic sexual attraction. I guess it’s not surprising, then, that the psychology of organ donation has always interested me, and I’d actually already included this briefly in my third novel, Into My Arms, before my own brother Piers very sadly and unexpectedly died at the age of 39 and became an organ donor himself. I still wasn’t compelled to write about the topic though until three years later, when my family received a letter from the recipient of one of his kidneys. It was an incredible moment, a wonderful kind of closure for us, to know that Piers had changed someone’s life after his own life was over, but it also got me thinking… what if? What if we tracked down everyone who received his gift? How would that feel? And, though I didn’t start writing it for another few years, I’m sure that’s how I’ll Leave You With This was born.
How did you think of the title of the book?
I had no title until almost the end of the first draft! That’s very unlike me- I almost always have a title from the start, because that’s how my brain works, and I use it as a sort of a touchstone to stay on track during the writing. In this case though, my manuscript was labelled “Donor Novel” until the very last chapter. I don’t want to give too much away, but I am a mad planner and I usually know what’s going to happen before I write it down- but the moment where the title emerged came literally out of thin air. One of the main characters, Bridie, is in an important meeting and is put on the spot for the name of the documentary she’s working on… in a flash of inspiration, she comes up with I’ll Leave You With This, which I knew immediately was perfect for the novel as well. That sort of stuff doesn’t happen to me very often and it actually gave me goosebumps. I was prepared to fight my agent/publisher/editor to the death to keep the title, but thankfully they loved it too and I didn’t have to!
Does the creative process get easier for you with each book?
Unfortunately no. It should, shouldn’t it? I’ll Leave You With This is my sixth published novel, plus there’s been a few other unpublished ones along the way. In creating those, I’ve written almost a million words, I’ve created umpteen characters and plot arcs and wrestled with themes and descriptions and narrative voice- and I still feel as if I have no clue what I’m doing every time I start a new manuscript. It’s maddening- but I also think it’s the price you pay if you want to get better, do something new- otherwise you could go back and write exactly the same sort of novel, time after time. Since realising that, I’ve made some sort of peace with feeling like a complete beginner every time I sit down at my desk. I recognise it as simply being part of the process now, rather than me being totally inadequate. On a good day, anyway ;).
What’s your daily writing routine like and what are you working on at the moment?
I only write for two days per week- partly because of my (ahem) real job, as the consultant neuropsychologist for a large rural hospital, and partly because I find writing exhausting and frightening and two days is quite enough, thank you. At the moment I’m working on my next novel, about an IVF mix up (more medical/psychological intersection stuff) and my routine is pretty much the same as it has always been… plan to start writing at nine as soon as I’ve walked the dog, faff around for ages, answer emails and check social media, hang out the washing, think about lunch, look at the clock and panic because it’s 12pm and I haven’t written a damn word, open current work in progress, peep at in in terror, take half an hour to go over the last day’s output and reassure myself it’s not total rubbish, consult extensive notes/spreadsheets/flashcards, finally force myself to start writing, and then don’t get up again until I have 1000 or more polished words. Usually around 400 or so words in I find I relax and am actually (gasp) quite enjoying myself…but I have to psych myself into it every single time. It’s utterly ridiculous! All that said, by some alchemy, 1000 polished words twice a week does actually create a relatively polished draft in under a year, even allowing for school holidays, and I don’t do more than two drafts before submission, so this method does work. It just doesn’t feel like it at the time!
Leave a Reply